


Ash Ketchum and the Incident: A Pokémon/Dragon Tales Crossover Story

by Drag0nLoverXXX



Category: Dragon Tales, Need for Speed (Video Games), Pocket Monsters | Pokemon - All Media Types
Genre: Crossover, Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-05
Updated: 2019-11-05
Packaged: 2021-01-23 18:58:14
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 24
Words: 40,985
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21325054
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Drag0nLoverXXX/pseuds/Drag0nLoverXXX
Summary: A huge inter-dimensional adventure unfolds as Ash Ketchum gets tossed far from home when he discovers a mysterious scale. I've been writing this piece for the past two years, and a lot of thought has been put into it. Any and all feedback/ critiques/ suggestions are highly appreciated!
Kudos: 2





	1. Chapter One

Ash had just finished his gym fight on Cinnabar Island, clutching the Volcano badge firmly in the palm of his hand. His battle with Leader Blaine had been a fierce one, luckily however he had his trusty Dragonair by his side to tip the scales of the battle. Standing on the shore, Ash looked out to the ocean ahead of him. Brock and Misty would be waiting for him back at the campsite, he wanted to savour this moment for as long as he could. Their adventure through Kanto up until this point has been a personal peak for him in his mind, and he wanted their their journey to never end. Only one Gym to go, and then he would be facing the Elite Four, then hopefully with luck, the Pokémon champion. Ash breathed in the balmy seaside air and took in the glimmering sunset in front of him. He could stand here forever. He opened his eyes and took a Pokeball from his belt.

"Pikachu?" asked Pikachu, wondering what Ash was going to do. Ash grinned.

"Dragonite, I choose you!" Ash released Dragonite from it's Pokeball. The chunky orange Dragon stretched it's wings. Their fight had been one of their hardest ones yet, yet Dragonite was more raring to go than ever. It looked at Ash, ears perking up as it's eyes adjusted to the orange sunlight.

"Dragonnnn Dragoniiiite?" Ash beamed.

"Thanks for having our backs there, Dragonite. We really would be unable to beat Blaine and his team without you. It means a lot, really!" Dragonite flapped his wings cheerfully.

"Dragonite!" One thing about Ash that his Pokemon really appreciated was his dynamic. When he praised them for doing a good job he meant it, and they could see it in his eyes. Whenever one of his Pokemon screwed up or they lost a match, Ash was unafraid of disciplining them. But Dragonite never had to be punished, which was a record for one of Ash's pets. Even Pikachu, Ash's best friend, had to be beaten once in a while. Dragonite began to nuzzle his master in gratitude, but Ash quickly became distracted. Something out on the ocean waves had caught his eye. Something shining just a little more than the waves themselves. He put his hand to his brow and squinted, trying to make it out against the harsh sun. Dragonite tilted it's head out of curiosity. Ash put his hand to his hip, scowling a bit.

"Hey Dragonite, do you think you can fly me out to that spot over there in the ocean?" Ash motioned in the general vicinity of the mysterious object. Dragonite craned it's head trying to see what Ash was seeing, but gave up nodding. It bowed it's head begging Ash to get on. Without thinking, Ash climbed onto Dragonite's back with little difficulty,

"Alright, let's go check out what that shiny object is, I just have a... strange feeling about this, c'mon." Ash had a strange feeling come over him over this mysterious object. Dragonite quickly took off into the summer air with Ash in tow, leaving Pikachu behind on the beach to watch. As Ash and Dragonite travelled farther out to sea, the air started to become colder. Ash soon realized that the object that they were chasing must have been a greater distance away than it had initially appeared, and he shivered in spite of the brightness of the sun. After several minutes of flying, they began to approach the object in question. It was much larger than it had appeared from the shore, yet it was still difficult to tell exactly what it was due to the constant motion of the waves. Ash had Dragonite swoop down next to it several times as he attempted to fish it out of the water, but it still took many tries. At one point he managed to brush his hand against it briefly; it was solid like rock and smooth almost as if it were fashioned out of a strange porcelain, whatever it was. Finally, Ash was able to maintain a grip on the object and managed to pull it out of the water by his fingertips. He tucked the object into his vest so it wouldn't fall to back to it's shallow grave. As Dragonite returned to shore, Ash took it back out and held it to the light. Now that he could it inspect it more closely, he could make out the details of what lie in his hand. It appeared to be some sort of rock at first glance, but it wasn't like any rock Ash had ever seen. And yet, somehow, it was still familiar…

The object was an iridescent blue-lavender gradient color that sparkled rainbows when hit properly with light. This didn't seem like a shell or rock any sort… the ridges along the edge and strange texture implied almost a... dragon scale. Dragonite landed and looked back at the scale Ash held in his hand with curiosity.

"Here, Dragonite, you didn't lose a scale did you?" Dragonite sniffed the scale in ash's hand as Pikachu ran up eagerly to greet them.

"Dragonite!" it exclaimed.

"Well this definitely is a dragon type pokémon's scale regardless, isn't it? Maybe we should take this to the Pokemon Lab tomorrow morning, it's here on Cinnabar Island anyway so it can't hurt. What do you think?

"Dragonnnnn!"

"Pikachu!" Ash smiled.

"Alright then, it's agreed. Tomorrow morning we're going to the Pokémon Lab!

Ash stretched out on his camping mat. He hadn't gotten much sleep last night. He turned over ready to fall back asleep but the smell of Brock's cooking got the best of him. Brock might've been a womanizing pig, but boy, did he ever know how to fry up smoked Bidoof. Ash rose lazily, almost forgetting to tuck the scale he had found yesterday in his backpack.

"Breakfast is ready!" chimed Brock as he moved the last of the smoked meat from the camper grill to their respective plates. "Dig in before it gets cold!" Ash's stomach grumbled

"Don't mind if I do..." he mused as he dug into the tender meat. As he chewed a forkful of the meat, Pikachu nosed his way up to Ash from his bowl of Poké-kibble.

"Alright, just one!" Ash smiled as he dropped Pikachu a sliver of the juicy Bidoof.

"Pika Pikaaaa!" Pikachu squealed as it devoured the tender bidoof slice Ash had given it. Misty was still asleep in her tent, but the two boys were wise enough that they wouldn't dare wake her up after last time. Ash shivered at the thought. He played with his breakfast and tried to break the morning silence.

"So Brock, what's on the plate for you today?" asked Ash. Brock shrugged.

"I was thinking of taking a day off in all honesty, I've finished my supply run yesterday right before your big gym battle, so there's no errands left on my list really." Ash nodded in contemplation.

"Ah, yeah I was thinking the same," he whispered. Brock cocked an eyebrow.

"Really now? It's not like you to be so relaxed, especially after a fresh victory." Ash shrugged sheepishly as he took the last few bites of Bidoof.

"Don't worry about it Brock, might go into town today after breakfast but nothing special," he leaned back in his fold out chair and placed a folded hand on his stomach.

"Want me to come with you? As I said, I'm not really up to anything, and if you're not going to be in town for the whole da-"

"Nah that's fine," interrupted Ash, looking down his Pikachu.

"No reall-".

"I said no." Brock eyed Ash over with a look of mild dejection.

"How come?" he asked curtly. Ash shrugged weakly, continuing to avoid eye contact. He was unsure if he wanted to delve into this matter again. He took a breath.

"I don't need you tagging along if you're going to creep on every woman we meet Brock. I'm honestly surprised Officer Jenny hasn't locked you up for your predatory antics yet. It's really gross, dude, and I don't wanna be seen around dudes like that." Brock stood up angrily, dropping the spatula from his hand.

"What the hell are you on about Ash? I know I flirt pretty intensely in public at times but-" Ash held a hand to Brock's face.

"Look, I didn't mean any offense, but I just don't need this kind of crap today okay? I just got my badge." Brock smirked.

"You just got you Badge, Ash Ketchum? Well sorry, I didn't know winning Gym Battles entitled you to being a gigantic asshole- oh wait, it doesn't. You wanna know why I know that? Because I'm a fucking gym leader." Brock stormed up towards Ash and threw a finger in his face, escalating the confrontation even more quickly.

"I've won more fucking gym battles in my few years as the Pewter City leader than you will in your entire goddamn life so listen here you little shill. Until you get a grip of your own on reality, you can zip that bratty little mouth of yours. Kids like you should be going to Pokemon school instead of leaving home at ten to become failed trainers!" Ash shot up abruptly and slung his backpack over his shoulder. He snapped at Pikachu to follow. Out of the corner of his eye, he could make out Brock fuming, storming off to his tent in a tensely controlled anger. Maybe it would be best to no return until evening.

(A/N: Please Please PLEASE bookmark this story. I have a lot in store for it and would love any feedback you guys have to give!)


	2. Chapter Two

Ash grasped tightly onto his backpack strap, fuming at the attitude Brock had given him just moments ago. What the hell was that guy on? Ash turned a corner. He understood that what he had said might not have been the most diplomatic thing ever, however Brock's rage had seemed a little unjustified. Maybe it just had to do with the fact that tempers were short due to the constant camping and travelling, but the guy had always been a bit of an asshole. Ash sighed. The best thing for everyone right now would be to forget about this petty argument. The young trainer decided to focus on the reason he had left the camp in the first place: the mysterious scale he had discovered yesterday. Taking a rest under a nearby Pecha berry tree, Ash pulled out his trusty Pokedex and began to search for whatever dragon-type Pokemon could have possibly shed this strange and shiny object. Nothing matched it perfectly, despite Ash having a large catalogue of exotic Pokemon saved. Without much luck, ash pocketed his dex and continued on his way. Before he knew it, there it was: The Pokémon Lab. Ash scratched his head.

"Here goes nothing," he laughed to himself. He entered through the sliding doors of the lab and was greeted by a receptionist. She had long brown hair and was well-endowed. Ash tried to maintain eye contact with her as to not appear weird. She glanced up at him from her computer.

"Ah yes, can I help you?" Ash blushed, taken aback by her softspoken voice. He shook his head.

"O-oh uh right, I've found this here uh… scale? I was hoping to have a Pokémon Scientist look at it, I wondered if someone could identify the species of Pokemon this scale actually belongs to," Ash stuttered as he took the lovely scale out of his pack to show the receptionist. Her eyes widened.

"No worries, I'll phone Professor Butternut right now. He should be up in the Testing Room with Professor Fig Tree if I'm not mistaken…" the well-endowed receptionist shuffled some papers and punched in an internal telephone number. Ash smiled at her meekly as his gaze drifted to her chest. She was very beautiful.

"Right," Ash jumped at the lull of her voice. His eyes fluttered, face turning a light shade of red. "Dr. Butternut will see you in the Testing Room… that's Room 210. Follow the blue line and you should be able to get there no problem." Ash nodded to the woman at the desk and turned looking for a blue line, quickly spotting it.

"Right." Following the line, Ash made a quick note of the facility around him. He wanted to find a subtle hiding spot in case he came back to admire her later.

Before too long Ash was standing outside of Room 210. He hesitated briefly before knocking on the door. It quickly swung open in response to his knock to reveal two older men dressed in matching white lab coats.

"Ah, come in, come in!" bellowed the one closest to Ash who had opened the door. He appeared to be the older of the two. "My name is Professor Butternut."

"You mean like the tree?" asked Ash with interest.

The professor laughed jovially. "Precisely my dear boy! And who might you be? What brings you to our humble Pokemon Lab today?"

"Oh, uh, my name's Ash," blinked Ash. Then, remembering that Pikachu was currently sitting on his shoulder, he continued. "And this is my partner, Pikachu. We came to ask you about something we fished out of the ocean yesterday..." With that, Ash reached into his backpack and removed the scale, handing it over to the professors. Dr. Butternut adjusted his glasses.

"Now what do we have here?" his baritone voice chimed. The other man, who Ash assumed was Dr. Fig Tree, grunted, amused.

"Clearly this is a Pokémon scale, Doctor." Ash shifted his weight as Professor Butternut continued to inspect the object in question.

"Very peculiar," Butternut mused. "Professor Fig Tree, do you want to bring over our National Pokédex to see if we can get a match? I can't quite place the scale to any particular specimen..." Professor Fig Tree grunted something about grad school and wandered off into the corner of the testing room. Butternut turned to ash bemused.

"You said you found this in the ocean? Off of here on Cinnabar island I presume?" Ash nodded.

"Yeah, I tried looking through my own Dex when I found it there, to no avail. It caught my eye last night as the sun was setting so I got my trusty Dragonite to help me retrieve it."

"Interesting…" muttered Professor Butternut. Fig Tree broke the brief pause.

"Here, the completed National Dex. Y'know… I really don't understand why the Kanto government disallows transparency to the public among government-funded scientists. It really stiffles the scientific community, and causes a lot of Pokémon researchers to throw fresh trainers onto wild goose chases for information that would otherwise be readily available..." Ash coughed eyeing the dex, trying to ignore what he had just heard.

"Right… and….. nothing." Ash looked up as the two professors eyed one another intensely.

"Impossible," declared Professor Fig Tree, nudging in closer. "In no way shape or form can this possibly belong to a Pokémon if it doesn't show up in our dex." Butternut held the scale up to the light in curiosity.

"Hmm… perhaps this belongs to an ancient or uncatalogued legendary Pokemon. I can't see why that wouldn't be plausible in theory."

"Nonsense," interjected Fig Tree stiffly. "There are 151 Pokémon in count. 151! If you think there are any more than that I think you're hallucinating quite frankly Butternut." Butternut looked at Fig Tree with a faint lusty gaze in his eye.

"Now now Figgy, let's not get emotional here. We're in a workspace, compose yourself." Butternut handed the scale back to Ash.

"Apologies, Ash was it? We're working on a large government-backed project right now kid. As much as we would love to help you we simply don't have enough funding on our plate to invest more than a few minutes into exterior projects. If you come back in a few weeks we might be able to look into this further but until then…" Butternut shrugged as his voice trailed off. Ash nodded in understanding. Luckily for the professors, Ash supported Kanto's current government. Their strong fiscal policies partnered with protectionist values on the international scale really paralleled with Ash's personal belief system.

"I understand. Good luck with you research, professors." Ash turned quietly and exited the Pokemon Lab, making sure to catch a glimpse of the gorgeous receptionist on his way back.

Despite Ash's understanding of the professor's current situation, he couldn't help being a bit disappointed in the fact that he had learned absolutely nothing from his trip to the lab. His declining mood also made him remember his argument with that asshole Brock, and he suddenly became frustrated all over again. His victory at the gym yesterday long forgotten, Ash sulked all the way back to the beach where he had first spotted the scale. He wasn't entirely sure why he was going back here. Maybe he expected to find another clue to this mystery that was beginning to form. Maybe he just thought the ocean air would help him relax. Plopping himself down in the warm sand, Ash closed his eyes and began to fantasize about all the naughty things he wanted to do to that receptionist from earlier. He dug his hands into the sand and let the grains slip between his fingers. The anxiety was lowkey getting to him... he needed some escapism. Licking his lips, he thought long and hard about how much he wanted to fondle that receptionist's ample breasts, even for a brief moment. Snapping out of his perverted thoughts, Ash shook his head, catching himself. This wasn't the place to have these thoughts. It wasn't like he got much time to himself outside of his tent and even then he had to be careful. Ash sighed and looked to the horizon for what he assumed to be one last time. Why him?

Slowly coming back to reality, Ash suddenly noticed something once again out of the corner of his eye. Something was bobbing up and down in the shallow waves that were slopping lazily against the shore. Ash became excited as he considered the possibility that it was another scale, but as he ran towards the object it became clear that this was something entirely different. His excitement didn't wane, however, for he quickly recognized the small cylindrical object for what it was.

"A bottle!" Ash exclaimed. "Pikachu, check this out! I bet there's a message in it". Sure enough, Ash could spy a little brown piece of paper rolled up inside the glass tube.

"Pika?" asked Pikachu quizzically.

"Well how the fuck should I know what it says, I haven't opened it yet!" Ash shook his head at his friend's stupidity. Picking at the mouth of the bottle greedily, Ash managed to clumsily pop the cork open. He fumbled, sticking his fingers into the neck yielding no results.

"Fuck!" muttered Ash under his breath. He tossed the bottle onto the ground angrily. He needed someone more agile or stronger to take care of this delicate situation, and god forbid that person be Brock. He looked to the ground.

"Pika?" asked Pikachu tilting its head.

"No not you!" Ash snapped as he rolled his eyes. He reached to his belt.

"Come on out Dragonite!" he cheered. Dragonite soon appeared before the two of them in all of it's majestic greatness. Ash smiled. He figured Dragonite would be curious about the bottle in case it had something to do with the mysterious scale, but more importantly the dragon-type would be able to pull the cork from the bottle with ease. Gripping the bottle tightly with both hands, Ash held the bottle in front of him and had Dragonite grab hold of the cork. After a quick countdown, Ash pulled in one direction while his pal flew in the other. Unfortunately, Ash's hands were rather slippery, and Dragonite only succeeded in pulling the bottle from his grasp.

"Damn it!" shouted Ash. In frustration, he snatched the bottle back from Dragonite and placed it in the sand a few feet away. "Dragonite, USE SKULL BASH!"

The dragon-type almost appeared to grin as it flew up into the air before turning around and smashing into the bottle with so much force that Ash wouldn't have been surprised if Professors Butternut and Fig Tree had felt it all the way back in their lab. The bottle, needless to say, was no more. Ash quickly picked away at the broken glass until his hand finally brushed the little piece of paper. He carefully picked it up, unrolling it gently. Upon it were words written in a beautiful calligraphy. Ash squinted trying to make out the handwriting on the crinkled paper. He spoke aloud for his Pokemon to hear him,

"I wish, I wish,

With all my heart,

To fly with Dragons,

In a land apart."

"Well that's kinda gay," Ash thought to himself. Before he could react in disgust however, a blinding light emitted from his backpack.

"What the-" Ash pulled the scale out of his backpack to witness it shining a bright green light. Before he knew it, the violent rays consumed him and his Pokemon, whirling around them.

Ash blacked out.


	3. Chapter Three

As the familiar swirling colors that always seemed to swallow them from the pictures on the playroom wall finally faded, Emmy and Max once again found themselves in the magical world of Dragon Land. Even after twenty-four years, the trip never ceased to amaze them. Or make Max sick. As soon as they landed in the bright green meadow, he immediately ran to the nearest bush and threw up a murky broth of cigarette butts and artichoke pizza. Emmy shook her head. "Fucking disgusting," she muttered in disgust. By this point it felt to her as if half of the ecosystem in Dragonland was ravaged by Max's poor lifestyle choices. She pat her brother on the back, consoling him.

"If it makes you feel any better, at least you can hold your alcohol," she sighed. Max pounded his stomach.

"Oh god why do I even bother coming here? I feel like a bulimic on a 24-year-long losing streak. Emmy shrugged.

"Just get your ass up dude," she said, rolling her eyes.

"Yeah yeah, alright," muttered Max under his breath as he wiped his vomit-soiled mouth onto the stomach of his green shirt. "Why the fuck are we here again today anyway?"

"It's Zak and Wheezie's birthday, dipshit. We gotta be at the Knuckerhole in ten fuckin minutes... let's go!" Emmy started to run down the grassy path that they had appeared next to, but then stopped, unsure of where exactly they were. "I wish that goddamn scale could be consistent and take us to the same place every time instead of dropping us off in the middle of buttfuck nowhere." Max nodded in agreement. He looked around, still weak from vomiting. His head lifted.

"Ah, there's Dandelion Forest Emmy… we're not too far anyway this time around, c'mon." The two siblings started off toward their destination.

When Emmy and Max arrived at the Knuckerhole, the party was already in full swing. As close to "full swing" as a dragon party could be at least. Something that the siblings had learned in the last twenty-four years was that, despite being thrown by magical lizard creatures that could talk and fly, dragon parties were fucking boring. But Emmy and Max planned to save this one. "We brought the booze!" Max shouted, kicking the door open and holding two packs of Budweiser. The Dragons cheered. Ord smiled.

"Aw guys, you didn't have to, we have plenty of Dragonberry "juice" here already. We'll let you know if it's ever BYOJ."

"That's weak shit man, last time I drank a whole pitcher of that stuff and I didn't even feel the slightest bit buzzed" smirked Emmy, grabbing a can from her brother and downing almost half of it in one gulp. Ord chuckled

"More for me then I suppose," he said as he poured himself another generous glass. "Hey, you two better say hello to the birthday boy and girl before you get too shitfaced," he pointed out with a cocky grin. Cassie, who had just showed up behind him with refreshments, greeted the siblings with a weak smile.

"I don't know, they look busy," chuckled Max, who had just spotted Zak and Wheezie making out in the corner. "Give them a bit of private time before they blow out their candles, eh?" Cassie glanced back behind them and rolled her eyes, sighing.

"I wish it were that easy for me to find a nice boy… or girl," she said quietly. Her voice was so low it was barely audible. Emmy blinked.

"C'mon there Cass, you'll find a great dragon one day who will make you feel special, don't let it get to you," she took a sip from her can, trying to break the awkwardness. Ord was luckily there to swoop in.

"So what'd you guys get Zak and Wheezie for their birthday?" he asked, casually stepping between the two. Upon hearing this, Max shuffled in closer.

"Oh, they're gonna love it," he whispered. It's Ed Sheeran's latest album and it's fucking awesome. Arguably his best by far. Emmy and I have been saving up our allowance for a while now to get this one."

"Who's Ed Sheeran?" asked Ord with interest.

"You don't know who Ed Sheeran is? What the actual fuck is wrong with you dude! Oh my god, don't get me started!" shouted Emmy, who was now on her third can of Budweiser.

Max looked on as Emmy informed Ord of the Ed Sheeran concert she had attended in Toronto. He was greeted with a tap on the shoulder. Max turned around. It was Cassie.

"Hey Max, can you help me hang up these streamers?" she asked meekly. Max put down his Budweiser, blazed, but functioning fine.

"Yeah no worries, Cass. What do you want me to do?" She motioned him over to the wall behind the dining table.

"Here," she said, handing him a roll of streamers. "I'll hang them up, just hold onto my footstool and give me rolls when I run out." Max nodded, bored.

"Right." Cassie stretched out the roll she had in her hand and started hanging them from the wall.

"So, Max…" her voice trailed off. She seemed rather focused on her handiwork.

"What's up?" chirped Max, checking his phone.

"How has Emmy been doing?" she asked, absorbed. Max shook his head.

"Fine, why?" he still felt a little sick. Cassie wiped her brow.

"No reason…" she whispered to herself, on edge. Max squinted up at her, confused.

"You okay Cass? You're acting a little… uncomfortable. More than usual I mean."

"Yeah, I'm… I'm fine. Just the alcohol, you know?" Cassie appeared to have consumed only half a glass of "juice". Max shook his head as he handed her the last of the streamers.

Eventually, after Zak and Wheezie finally managed to pull their faces apart, the dragons decided it was time for cake and presents. They gathered around the table.

"Okay you two, take a seat," pushed Ord as he let the conjoined twins sit down. "Alright everyone," he chuckled. "Let's sing!"

(A/N: This tune is sung to the style of Hearts Don't Break Around Here by Mr. Ed Sheeran)

Blow out your candles

Pass the "juice" around

Because today it is your birthday

Blow those candles

It ain't no time to frown

There's no one else in Dragon Land

As special as you today

So open up those presents

Eat some Dragon Corn

And shout Hooray!

The group cheered as Zak and Wheezie shared a kiss before taking the song's advice and blowing out the candles on their enormous chocolate cake. This took several attempts because, being dragons, they kept accidentally lighting the candles back up with their breath. When the flames were finally exhausted, they cut the cake and dug in. It was delicious.

Before long the buzz of the party had died from it's previous swell, as the cake and juice were kicking in. Emmy layed down on the sofa, arms stretched. Aside from Max making a mess of things when they first arrived in Dragon Land, today had been a pretty successful day in her book. She yawned and turned to look back at her friends. They seemed content with themselves. Emmy smiled and closed her eyes. Suddenly, there was something brushed her shoulder. Eyes snapping back open, Emmy looked up to see Cassie staring down at her. She quickly shot up in response.

"Oh Cassie, you scared me there for a second," she giggled, putting a hand to her chest. Cassie frowned.

"Oh… sorry… I didn't mean to…" Cassie's voice trailed off. She looked as if she were about to cry. Emmy put a hand on her shoulder.

"Cass what's wrong?" she asked, concerned for her friend. Cassie turned away an ran to Zak and WheeziTe's bedroom. Emmy followed, trying not to draw much attention from the other partygoers. This was likely an intimate moment for Cassie. She knocked on the door, hearing muffled whimpers on the other side. They quickly ceased.

"C-Cass?" she called, worried. No response. Emmy shook her head.

"Cass I'm coming in," she warned. Emmy turned the doorknob and entered the bedroom. She was greeted with a somber Cassie, arms folded over her knees sitting on the bedspread.

"Cass?" asked Emmy, nervously. Cassie exhaled, but didn't respond. Emmy took a seat next to her dear friend, placing a hand on her back. "Talk to me. You're never like this, what happened?" Cassie wiped away a tear.

"There's something I really want to tell you but… I'm not sure how." She said, her voice scarcely more than a whisper.

"Cass, I've been your friend for twenty-four years. You know you can tell me anything."

Cassie took a deep breath and released it, with hesitation. "Emmy, I… I like you a lot. And by like I mean, well… I want to be more than… friends. I've felt this way ever since I met you and I… I…" At this point, Cassie buried her head in her hand, unable to continue. Emmy, meanwhile, was trying to process what she was hearing. A relationship? With a dragon? she thought to herself, still uncertain of her feelings. She cast a gaze over to Cassie, eyeing her curvaceous body… her well-endowed ass. She bit her lip. She had never considered… this... with another female before, much less a female dragon. Now that she looked closer however, she started to appreciate Cassie's well-toned body, and as she recalled, smooth scales. She put a pale hand to Cassie's oversized pink head and turned her so that their gaze would once again meet. Cassie's eyes were a brilliant shade of midnight blue, and despite the room's poor lighting, they sparkled like an incandescent lightbulb. Without further hesitation, Emmy's fat lips met that of Cassie's, and her eyeballs closed. Cassie's lips were surprisingly fleshy for an anthropomorphic reptile. She felt Cassie's warm breath from the depths of her fire sack. It turned Emmy on even more. Their lips parted briefly, and they looked back into each other's eyes, trying to read what they had just done. Before long, Emmy was eagerly undressing Cassie, exposing her naked pink and yellow body. Emmy checked out the blue speckles that dotted her Cassie's back. She smiled.

"Cute," she said cooly, smirking. Cassie blushed, fanning her face.

"S-so you feel the same way about me too?" she asked, face becoming even redder than the red part of a Budweiser label. Emmy nodded, lust invigorating her body with the most intensity she had ever experienced since that summer with the Colombian boy, Enrique.

"Emmy…?"

"Yeah yeah, something like that," she said absentmindedly as she shoved Cassie to the ground.

"How do you feel about female penetration?" Emmy asked with a sexy growl. Cassie became even more flustered.

"I'm so embarrassed… ah… y-yeah…" she squeaked, covering her, large, cartoonish dragon eyes.

"Vaginal or Anal?" asked Emmy firmly. She wanted to take Cassie to town and buy her a Wii U with ALL the games. Her face still flushed, Cassie let out a whisper.

"S-surprise me." Emmy cocked her head.

"I'm sorry?"

"I said surprise me," said Cassie looking up, wavering gone from her voice. Emmy smiled.

"That's my girl," she laughed. She reached into her back pocket and pulled out a massive 24-inch strap on. She began to fit herself into her harness with skilled ease, showing that she had done this many, many, MANY times before.

"24 years experience," she winked, fastening the last strap. Cassie eyed the MASSIVE horsecock Emmy bore on her waist, simultaneously impressed and petrified at its sheer size and girth. She swallowed nervously. She had wanted this for so long, there was no way she was going to back down now.

"Bend over," instructed Emmy to her pink friend. Cassie complied submissively. She was often flexible in her sexual relations (which never happened tbh) so she was willing.

"RELEASE THE KRAKEN!" bellowed Emmy as she shoved the 15 inch penis into Cassie's asshole, raw. Cassie screamed out of shock, covering her mouth in fear that their friends would hear them from the other room. Emmy thrusted her pelvic muscles in a circular motion, not only giving Cassie an unbelievable feeling, but simultaneously cleaning out her rectum of poorly digested chocolate cake which, in all honesty, looked the same coming out as going in. Cassie, not being experienced, immediately orgasmed all over Weezie's side of the bed. Panting and shaking as Emmy slowly drew the horsecock out of her asshole, Cassie collapsed, energy drained.

"Hold up, I'm not done with you. It's your turn, Missy. I've ridden on your back so many times in the past 24 years. Now it's your turn to ride me. Just as she spoke these words, the door opened and Max burst into the room. As soon as he saw what was happening his can of Budweiser slipped from his hand.


	4. Chapter Four

Ash awoke to find himself being licked by his Dragonite.

"Wh-what? What… was that just there? Pikachu?" No response. Ash wiped his eyes and sat up. As he planted his hands onto the firm ground, he quickly realized he was no longer feeling the warm sand of Cinnabar Island's beach. Ash looked up, eyes still adjusting to the light.

"Dragonite… what happened?" Ash was sitting by the edge of a large lagoon, he looked around to be quickly taken aback by the lush vegetation. The flora looked nothing like that back in the Kanto region. Different kinds of trees dotted the shoreline with vines hanging from them. Something was wrong. Horribly, horribly wrong. He looked around once more for Pikachu and spotted him lying in the grass a few feet away, unconscious. "Pikachu? Pikachu! Wake up!" Ash's worries about his own predicament were replaced with a fear for his pokemon. So what if he had to be beaten every so often; the weird yellow mouse pokemon was still his best friend. Ash scrambled to the edge of the lagoon and frantically began scooping the surprisingly clean looking water into his hands, barely noticing the strange looking wildlife that frolicked nearby. They did not look like any sort of pokemon he had ever seen before, but that hardly mattered right now. Taking care not to let any of it slip through the cracks between his fingers, he hurried back to the spot where Pikachu lay and splashed the water in its tiny face.

"C'mon buddy. I need you. Wake up. Please, wake up!" Pikachu twitched slightly, but still did not rise to consciousness. Ash got frustrated.

"PIKACHU WAKE UP NOW!" He brought his foot back and punted the small electric mouse pokémon into the lagoon. He clenched his fists. Pikachu never listened to his orders, especially at important times like these. As he turned around to fume in solitude a hook tapped him on the shoulder. Ash jumped and looked behind him. Before him stood a salty older gentlemen garbed in what looked to be a cartoonish pirate's outfit, garnished in a gentle gold fabric. He sported a scruffy grey beard with a goofy smile.

"Sorry for frightenin' ya there laddie, just thought ya looked a little lost." Ash's breathing steadied in relief. It was just a good Samaritan.

"Oh thank god, maybe you can answer my question… uh…"

"They call me Scallywag. Mr. Scallywag," the gentleman replied.

"Right, Mr. Scallywag…" Ash started. "Can you tell me where I am?" The Captain eyed him curiously.

"Ah, well you'd be in Dragoon Lagoon me boy, a very biodiverse body of water if I do say so meself!" Ash nodded curiously, wanting to know more but trying to stay focused on the task at hand.

"So where is that in relation to Cinnabar Island?" he asked. Scallywag tilted his head slightly.

"You'll have to speak up, lad, and try to talk in me good ear. It sounded to me like ye said Cinnabon Island or somethin."

Ash sighed in frustration. "Cinnabar Island. Bar! How far are we from there?"

The Captain scratched his head. "What in the devil is a Cinnabar? Nope, can't help ye there, kid. But if ye want ta cross over the Lagoon you're more than welcome to join me on me boat. For a small fee, of course."

"Sure, I think I have some PoKé from that gym battle the other day…" Ash rustled through his pockets and scrounged up some coins. Upon inspection, Scallywag let out an old seadog laugh.

"Ahah, me boy, I've never seen anything like these before. No, I don't take coins or dubloons alike. If ye want passage past the lagoon, you can give me that there orange dragon friend of yours." Scallywag nodded towards Ash's Dragonite with a newfound greed in his eyes. Ash gulped.

"Dragonite? W-why?" he stammered. He knew he was miserably lost, but how could he give up his most prized Pokémon? Ash scratched his head.

"Ah, ye see, in Dragon Land, if ye want any labour done, ye gotta invest in cheap alternatives. Ever since Nigel and his Beaverdragons up the river raised their flat price for manual work, it's the only option, ya see?" Ash glanced with hesitance at his Dragonite.

"Is there any other way, Mr. Scallywag?" Scallywag laughed again.

"Fraid not, m'boy." Ash shifted his weight, hand on his belt.

"Dragonite means a lot to me, I don't know if I could ever part with it..." Ash adjusted his hat.

"Right. Here," Ash unstrapped his utility belt and handed it to Mr. Scallywag without wasting any precious time.

"There's 4 other Pokémon here. They should be almost as good as Dragonite combined. More hands make lighter work, right? I don't use them anyway, so it's whatever," Ash sniffed. Scallywag inspected the pokeballs attached to the belt.

"Well…" he said aloud as he scratched his beard. "I dunno what these here "pokémen" are, but if there be more creatures in these here little capsules, you got yerself a deal," Scallywag grabbed Ash's hand and shook it aggressively. Ash gulped.

"Right, uh… where do I go if I want answers to my questions?" Ash asked. Scallywag scratched his beard again.

"Well, I'd say ye wanna talk to Quetzal. He's a teacher up at the School in the Sky. I could take ye there, but me trade route only goes part of the way," the captain said, still eyeing Dragonite lustily. Ash sighed.

"Alright, fair enough…" his voice trailed off. "So you were saying something about biodiversity?"

"Ah yes," responded Scallyag. Hissyfish, silliguanas, splishsplash birds, all in this one lagoon. THREE! That's more critters than fingers I got on me left hand!" Ash agreed, that was quite a lot. He had never heard of any of these Pokémon before, but it was evident he was far, far from home.

"And you've really never heard of Cinnabar Island? Of Kanto?" Scallywag shook his head.

"Nope."

"Drats," sighed Ash again. Scallywag turned to board his ship, inspecting Ash's belt.

"Now let me get a peek at you…" he muttered to himself.

Peek at you...

Peekachu….

"OH FUCK!" cried Ash. "I forgot Pikachu!"

"You forgot yer what?" asked Scallywag, annoyed.

"One of my pokemon was acting up and ended up in the lagoon, I'm such a stupid, stupid trainer." Ash facepalmed but without a laugh this time, for the situation was as shallow as what might be Pikachu's watery grave.

"Mr. Scallywag, can you swim?" begged Ash.

"What, me boy, what do you take me for? This ship FLIES! I have no need in learnin' such things!" Ash shook his head, mind racing. What possibly could he do?

"Look, lad, there's a plug at the bottom of this here Lagoon. I pulled it by accident meself 24 years ago when I was sailing with some dragons and a few kids, a little younger than yerself. If ye can pull the plug with me anchor, then surely ye would be able to drain the lagoon and save yer friend." Ash perked up. There was a way he could save Pikachu. He clapped out of excitement and ran quickly on board, brushing past Scallywag.

"We should already be right over it by the way," nodded Scallywag. "Ye see, I tend te fuck these things up every few months…"

Ash drew back the anchor eagerly, popping the plug. The lagoon immediately began to drain and in seconds emptied, revealing what he now recognized as hissyfish, purple fish that resembled Eelektross, and silliguanas, which were basically just regular old iguanas but with a different name. Ash's eyes scanned the now empty floor of the lagoon, quickly meeting a small yellow lump near the shoreline.

"AHA!" exclaimed Ash. He disembarked the ship and hopped into the empty basin.

"PIKACHU! PIKACHU!" he yelled. He knelt down next to his friend with fear for the worst.

"PIKACHU! Eat this Oran berry! It can heal you a bit!" Ash said, taking a lint-covered Oran berry from out of his pocket. He held it to Pikachu's mouth, but his pal still yielded no response. Ash forced the Oran berry into Pikachu's mouth and made the small Pokémon eat it.

"Ah, lad, I think yer pal there be in a coma…" said Scallywag, now standing over Ash. Ash wiped a tear from his eye. How dare Pikachu do this to him, making him tear up? Crying was for faggots, and Ash wasn't even gay. As soon as he woke up Ash was gonna beat him so hard. But he had to stay focused, there was no time for discipline…

Ash picked Pikachu's lifeless body up and cradled it in his arms.

"Let's go."

Before they knew it the ship had taken off, high into the sky. Ash leaned over the wooden railing and glanced down at the Lagoon they had just drained. He sighed, looking to the sky, motion had caught his eye. In the distance... there appeared to be several large creatures soaring through the air. Ash squinted in an attempt to better make out what they were. He was startled when he noticed their resemblance to some dragon-type pokemon that he was familiar with, but these appeared much larger.

"Hey, mister Scallywag, what the hell are those things? Dragon-types?" Ash shouted over the wind. The captain looked over at him.

"Are ye fuckin racist boy? Those ain't dragon-types or whatever. They's just plain old dragons, and they happen to be the dominant species here in Dragon Land, go figure."

Ash gasped.


	5. Chapter Five

The Budweiser dropped to the floor, rolling under the bed. Max's eyes widened, breathless. He had just walked in on his sister and their friend Cassie, fully nude and currently participating in anal penetration.

"What… the… fuck…" was all he could muster. Every word may as well have been its own sentence. A cacophony of emotion flashed through his eyes all at once; confusion, disgust, anger. Emmy and Cassie just stared back, motionless, like two deerdragons caught in the headlights of oncoming traffic. They both wished that Max would say something instead of just... standing there. Finally, he closed his eyes, gave his head a shake, and muttered "Zak and Wheezie are about to listen to their new Ed Sheeran album, if you're interested…" With that, he closed the door awkwardly behind him quietly. Emmy and Cassie quickly put their clothes back on, embarrassed that they had just been walked in on having an intimate moment. Cassie appeared especially worried.

"Oh- oh no… what if this, what if this gets out?" she asked, panicking. Emmy shook her head.

"How do you think I feel? That was my brother who just walked in, likely the worst possible person in the world to see me in such a… compromising position." Emmy followed this by muttering several curses under her breath whilst trying to shove the strap-on back into her pocket where it belonged. Cassie was in tears, and she began to shrink as she often did when she was upset. Emmy put a hand to her own forehead, trying to qualm her headache.

"Right Cassie, we'll go out there and pretend nothing happened, alright? Just act natural. I'm sure Max has better things to do than notifying all our mutual friends about him seeing his own sister naked." Emmy explained sensibly, rolling her eyes. Cassie sniffled.

"I… I guess…"

"Cheer up," chirped Emmy, looking down at the shrunken Cassie. She leaned over and gave her friend a cute peck on the head. Cassie blushed.

"Well… alright then… if you're sure…" she grew back to her normal size, still a little nervous.

"Let's go." The two got up off the twins' bed and opened the bedroom door. As they stepped from the dimmer, danker bedroom and into the brighter light, they found themselves face to face with Ord, Zak, and Wheezie, all staring back at them with horrified expressions on their faces. Max was standing in the corner where the twins had been making out earlier that evening, banging his head into the gyprock of the wall.

"What the fuck… Max! Did you already tell everybody!?" shouted Emmy, face red. Max didn't answer, tracing a hand down the wall. Then, after one final smack of the head, he turned around and walked straight out the door of the Knuckerhole into the now night air.

The other dragons closed in on them.

"What in the name of Jesus fucking Christ were you thinking!?" bellowed Ord. "A human can't fuck a dragon, that's so messed up!"

"It's unchristian," added Zak.

"It's a crime against nature," agreed Wheezie, sounding sure of herself.

Emmy began to defend herself. "Oh, it's unchristian? A 'crime against nature', Wheezie? Then what do you call fucking your conjoined twin!? I thought you two of all people would be accepting of this!" Wheezie opened her mouth as if she were going to say something but promptly closed it. Zak looked away. Cassie started crying again. Ord furrowed his brow further.

"I think you should go Emmy," he said dryly. The usual twinkle he had in eye had faded. Emmy gulped, looking around at what she had caused. She was ashamed of herself. She shuffled to the door, trying to avoid eye contact and put on her shoes clumsily. She opened the door and looked around.

Max was gone.

"Max? Max?" It was now occurring to Emmy that her brother had disappeared. Did he return home without me? she thought to herself. The siblings always left Dragon Land together in case the rhyme that transported them back to the playroom could only be used once. And even if that wasn't the case, Emmy had so many drinks in her that she doubted she'd be able to remember the words anyway. There wasn't any way she could go back to the Knuckerhole now and ask, either.

"Well fuck," she muttered, plopping herself on the front step.

I wish

I fish

To use this time

To go back home, until… ehr?...

Nothing. Emmy put her hands on her head. She was so, totally, utterly fucked. And buzzed. She wiped a tear from her eye, and heard the door behind her open. It was Cassie, still upset and barely a foot tall. Emmy looked down at her. The pink dragon had a black eye and numerous bruises throughout her toned body. Emmy gasped. What had they done to her?

"Cass, what… what happened? They didn't hurt you, did they?" Emmy asked empathetically as girls do. Cassie nodded, sniffing, her eyes closed. Emmy frowned, picking her now diminutive friend up.

"This looks bad. I'm taking you to Dr. BoobooGone's office to get this dealt with… god…" Emmy stood up, propping Cassie onto her shoulder.

Cassie shook her head faintly. "I'm fine," she said, but it was evident from the quivering of her voice and the swelling of her bruises that she wasn't.

"I'm sorry Cass but we have to, what if something's broken? I dunno, fuck," cursed Emmy. On top of being terrified for her friend, Emmy also had nowhere else to go. At least having a destination ahead of them would help take her mind off the fact that she was currently trapped in an alternate dimension. She started to head in the direction of the Doctor's office.

"But what if she asks how I was injured? What do we tell her? If we accuse Ord and the others then we'll have to explain what provoked them."

"BoobooGone isn't going to care that we had sex. Well... she might, but it's not actually a crime or anything. And she has to worry about patient confidentiality and stuff. It'll be fine. Everything will be just… fine." Emmy sounded confident, but in reality she was trying to convince herself as much as she was trying to convince Cassie.

"It's been a while since we've had to go there… is she really still operating out of the same old cave?" asked Emmy hesitantly. Cassie nodded.

"Yeah... yeah she is. I'm still really not sure how sanitary that can be, but the healthcare system here in Dragon Land is kinda… well… kinda fucked anyway so… it's not like we have any other options..." Emmy nodded, she empathized with the current state of affairs. America had never been the same since Obamacare passed.

"Looks like we'll have to make do," she said. With a heavy sigh, the companions continued in the opposite direction from the Knuckerhole. Neither of them said much during the entire journey to Dr. Booboogone's office. When they finally arrived, they looked upon a familiar cave. One that they had been to 24 years ago.

"Nothing changes," murmured Emmy to herself. They strolled in through the front entrance, which was dimly lit by a fire. Dr. BoobooGone greeted them, white labcoat and all. The older pink dragon bore the same round spectacles as before, adorning a very doctoral-looking stethoscope around her neck despite not having any ears.

"Hey, Dr. BoobooGone?" asked Emmy. The older pink dragon looked up from her paperwork.

"Ah? Ah, Emmy! It's been 24 years since I've seen you. How are you and your brother Max?" Emmy looked around.

"Ah… we're… fine… uh… anyway I brought Cassie here, she really needs your help!" The doctor nodded, stroking her chin.

"Right, can the patient please take a seat?" she motioned toward a lone tree stump sitting on the floor of the cave. Cassie nodded and complied, sitting down. She had grown closer to her normal size by now.

"So what seems to be the problem?" inquired Booboogone. Cassie looked up at the doctor with her disgusting, bloodied, bruised face that looked like it had been drug down a gravel driveway five too many times. "I see, I see," she nodded. "And where does it hurt?" Cassie shrugged but flinched in pain at the movement.

"Everywhere, ma'am."

"Right, yes… hm…" Dr. BoobooGone walked over to her desk and shuffled through some drawers. After a few minutes of searching, she found what she was looking for.

"Ah… here we go... Carfentanil." Emmy tilted her head.

"Uh, Doctor, this is just for a black eye and bruises," she pointed out. BoobooGone shook her head.

"Child, until you go to a dragon school of medicine I would rather you keep your stupid comments in your pocket." Emmy gulped, shrugging. She stepped aside so that BoobooGone could inject a small dosage of Carfentanil into Cassie's bloodstream.

"You see, Emmy, dragons are larger than humans, therefore they need more… intense medication. Carfentanil is our solution to that. It is 10000 times more potent than heroin!" she said enthusiastically. Emmy nodded.

"Alright then." Almost instantly, Cassie slipped into a half-conscious state. She started making a weird gurgling noise that in all honesty was kind of a turn-off for Emmy, who chose this moment to excuse herself and sit down outside the office/cave. Once alone, she buried her head in her hands. Today had started off so well. But now look. Her brother hated her, her friends hated her, she was stuck in a world completely separate from her own, her best friend was tripping balls, and she hadn't even been considering what sorts of STDs dragons might carry. Yep, today sucked all right.

But it was about to get worse.


	6. Chapter Six

(A/N: WARNING! THIS SCENE IS FOR MATURE AUDIENCES ONLY THANK YOU! ALSO PLEASE LEAVE A REVIEW TO SHOW SUPPORT FOR THE STORY!)

Ash turned over, waking up to the familiar canopy which was the roof of his tent. He blinked. Was that really all just a dream? he thought to himself. It had felt so... real! The last thing he remembered was lying down in the little cot inside Mr. Scallywag's strange flying boat. There's no way I dreamed about going to sleep, that's so dumb. But evidently he had. He was back at the campsite; the smell of Brock's smoked Bidoof still permeated the night air. Ash groaned and rolled over in his sleeping bag. In the dream, all he had wanted was to return to Kanto and continue his journey alongside his friends Misty and even that asshole Brock. But now that he was awake, he felt vaguely disappointed that he hadn't had the chance to explore the so-called "Dragon Land." There were so many new Pokemon to discover, or whatever it was they called them there. He wiped his eyes, staring at the ceiling. He didn't think he'd be able to go back to sleep now; there was far too much on his mind. He debated whether or not he should tell his friends about his lucid experience when they woke up in the morning. Eventually he decided against it, worried they would think he was a queer.

Suddenly, Ash heard a snap a few feet away from the tent. This wasn't exactly unusual, as the group had set up camp fairly close to town this time, nonetheless it had startled him. He pulled the sleeping bag up over his head and tried to ignore it, but the snapping came again, louder this time. These were definitely footsteps. Ash reached into the bag that he kept next to his air mattress and felt around for his m1911 single-action, semi-automatic handgun. He finally managed to grab hold of it, but at that precise moment the zipper on the tent flap slowly started to move upwards. Heart racing, Ash aimed the gun at the entrance of the tent, ready to fire. He breathed deeply. It's probably just that asshole Brock or Misty coming to see me for some reason, he told himself. I'm just being paranoid. Nevertheless, Ash never kept the safety on his trusty handgun in case of situations like this one. The sound of the zipper moving continuously up the flap was a roaring in his ears. He wished whoever was on the other side would just get this over with instead of building up so much tension. At long last, the zipper reached the top and the flap fell inward, revealing the shadowy figure behind. Ash was surprised to see that the shadow had a feminine form, which did not belong to Misty's boyish, flat-chested, unattractive figure. He quickly grabbed a flashlight from his bag and fumbled for the on switch, determined to find out who this mysterious intruder could possibly be. When the light finally fell on her, he gasped.

It was the receptionist from the Pokemon Lab.

Ash immediately became erect. Had she come all the way, to their campsite to find him? What could she possibly want? Ash cocked his head, unable to muster up the courage to say anything. The receptionist lady was wearing a revealing skirt and thigh highs in the typical kawaii anime fashion. She also adorned a one of a kind Naruto hoodie from what Ash could tell.

Ah, I see she's a Naruto fan outside of the workplace, Ash noted mentally. This fact turned him on even more. He had never met any girls before that had shared his love for Naruto. I mean, technically Misty liked it too, but she didn't exactly count as a girl what with her hormone treatments.

Ash shuddered as the receptionist lady crawled up onto his sleeping bag from the entrance of the tent. After a few seconds of agonizing silence he finally worked up the courage to speak.

"Wh-what are you doing here?" he whispered, as to try and not wake up Brock and Misty. The receptionist put a finger to her lips seductively.

"Shhhhhh, don't worry about it sweetie, just lay back… close your eyes…" Ash turned a deep shade of crimson, and complied, without breath. She had really come here to take his 18-year-old virginity. Ash put down his m1911 single-action, semi-automatic handgun in submission as the receptionist climbed onto him legs, on both sides. He felt her loom over his chadlike frame and felt her hot breath rush over his face. Soon, their lips met, interlocking whilst their tongues struggled in a passionate fight for dominance. Ash opened his eyes, peeking. She was very beautiful. He ran his hands throughout her well-endowed frame in utter amazement. Before he knew it, she had unzipped his jeans. His erect penis popped out of the opening like a diglett, but in this case, with such large testicles, it resembled more closely to a dugtrio. Ash looked passionately into his lover's eyes, as she massaged the 24-inch bulge through his boxers. Eager to fuck the receptionist, Ash quickly tore off his bottoms followed eagerly by boxers. By now, the receptionist lady had removed her skirt and stockings, only leaving her in her sexy Naruto hoodie. The receptionist stared deep into his eyes.

"Make love to me Ash Ketchum," she declared. Ash gulped. He didn't dare question how she had come to know his full name, he was simply too infatuated with her half-naked body.

"Take me, take me NOW!" she moaned. Ash fondled her Naruto-hoodie covered bosoms as they changed positions. Ash whipped out his penis as the receptionist lady lay there, exposed and inviting.

"Diglett, use DIG!" bellowed Ash as he jammed his dick inside of the receptionist's cloyster. She moaned in agony as his girthy cock penetrated her gorgeous body. Waves of ecstasy washed over the receptionist's face as she clawed at Ash's godlike figure. Ash grinned with a cocky smile.

"I've wanted to do this since yesterday morning," he winked. The receptionist blushed. "It's the longest time I've ever had feelings for a girl…" Ash admitted, not wanting to sound gay. The receptionist lady blushed, Ash still deep inside her, now pumping.

"I… love… you… Ash… Ketchum," she panted between motions as he pounded her with his groin-type pokémon.

"Unghghhh…" moaned Ash. "I love you too." As he uttered the words from his mouth the two climaxed in unison like the good part of an Usher song. Ash pushed the receptionist to the side to catch his breath and let his throbbing dick calm down. He looked over at his partner happily, but then went cold. The receptionist was looking back at him with a deviant sparkle in her eye. In her hand was Ash's cherished m1911 single-action, semi-automatic handgun!

"What the fuck!?" shouted Ash, scrambling out of his sleeping bag. Then, suddenly self-conscious, he looked around for his clothes. They were gone. What is going on here? Ash looked back at the receptionist lady, or at least where the receptionist lady had been, for in her place was a human-size, anthropomorphic Pikachu!

"Pika pika," it said in a deep and seductive voice. It traced a finger down Ash's bare chest. Ash screamed and ran out of the tent, only to find himself standing in the middle of the Pokemon lab, still fully nude. Standing in a circle around him were Misty, that asshole Brock, Professors Butternut and Fig Tree, and Mr. Scallywag, all laughing hysterically at his now flacid penis.

"NOOOOO!" Ash screamed as the world around him was absorbed in a swirling vortex of colour and light.

When Ash came too, he sat up quickly in his cot, slamming his head on the hard wooden surface that was the underside of the boat's deck. "Fuck!" he shouted as his hands flew up to massage his now throbbing head. It was all just a dream, he realized. But wait, that meant… He looked around and saw that he was indeed inside the cabin of Mr. Scallywag's boat, and was therefore… therefore still in Dragon Land. "God dammit!" he said to himself.

"Watch yer language down there, ya lazy fuck!" came the voice of the captain from above deck. "And get yer ass up here, we be landin' soon!"

Grumbling, Ash pulled himself out of the cot and prepared himself to see what adventures would await him at The School in the Sky.


	7. Chapter Seven

Emmy closed her eyes and felt the cool night breeze on her face. She sighed. She and Cassie had been at the doctor's office for nearly three hours, and Cassie was still on her high the last time she had checked. After the first hour Emmy had left to sit outside the cave alone, and take in the fresh air. She deserved a bit of a rest after everything that had happened today, but she still couldn't find it in herself to calm down. Her best friend (now possibly with benefits) had been beaten by her other so-called friends, just because she had sex with a human. Emmy had spent 24 years with these people, or dragons, or whatever. You'd think you would know a person after that amount of time, but in the mere blink of an eye Ord, Zak, and Wheezie had become complete strangers to her. Emmy pulled up her legs and rubbed them, trying to warm up. After 24 years her wardrobe had never really changed. As she readjusted the hem of her skirt, she heard two words that no one wants to hear a medical professional say.

"Oh fuck!"

Emmy whipped around. Had BoobooGone really botched this simple medical issue? She had warned that octogenarian "doctor" about the carfentanil, but… Emmy muttered something about grad school under her breath as she stormed over to the cave. Cassie was now shaking more than before at Dr. BoobooGone's feet, the medical professional scratching her head, uncertain of how to react to the situation.

"It uh… it looks like she's overdosing…" stammered BoobooGone. Emmy facepalmed.

"Are you kidding me? You said so yourself that that stuff was 10000 times more potent than heroin!" BoobooGone shrugged.

"Eh." Emmy pulled out her new IPhone X.

"I didn't wanna have to use data… but look at this: Carfentanil is used as an elephant tranquilizer." The doctor gritted her teeth.

"I mean, Emmy dear, we're dragons, we're already larger than you humans… plus Cassie is kinda fat too so…"

"Doctor!"

"O-oh sorry… I meant big boned," she clarified, blinking. Emmy was glad that BoobooGone used the medical term for Cassie's condition. The doctor stared hopelessly at the convulsing pink mass for a bit and cleared her throat. "Okay, I'm going to be frank with you. I have absolutely no idea how to fix this. I guess we're going to have to put her down..."

"What the fuck!" shouted Emmy. "You're not even going to try anything!?"

"What is there to try? I can't just start injecting her with random shit or I'll fuck her up even more! I went to veterinary school not Harvard!"

"Oh my fucking god, do I have to do everything myself?" Emmy opened a new tab on her phone to consult Doctor Google. "It says

here that the only thing that might be able to combat the carfentanil is something called 'naloxone'." You don't happen to have any of that lying around, do you?" BoobooGone put her head in her hands and tried to hold back her tears.

"Fuck if I know," she sighed. Emmy rolled her eyes, but at this point she didn't expect anything different. Determined to help her friend, she began opening and sifting through drawers at random in search of the elusive antidote. The first few yielded no results, but after a few minutes of searching Emmy found something interesting.

"Doctor BoobooGone, what's this?" she asked, holding up a little Ziplock bag of white powder.

"That's, uh, that's nothing. Just some sleep medicine," she replied quickly before shooting up and snatching the baggie out of Emmy's hand. Emmy squinted her eyes.

"Don't pretend like this isn't what it is. I'd recognize this stuff anywhere. This is cocaine, BoobooGone. Cocaine. This is the same stuff that killed my boyfriend Enrique six years ago! That Colombian son of a bitch had been hooked for two decades at that point. You disgust me BoobooGone, you're an absolute disgrace to the medical community and mankind alike you abhorrent bitch!" It was clear at this point that BoobooGone would be no help whatsoever. If Emmy wanted to help Cassie she would have to do it with the help of someone else. But who could she turn to? The only friends she had in Dragon Land were the ones who had put Cassie in this situation in the first place. She considered the actions of Ord, Zak, and Wheezie and tried to find the rationale behind them. The dragons were concerned for their friends soul; they believed an interspecies relationship could only end in damnation. Sure, they had taken a rather violent approach to the situation, but it was only with the best intentions in mind. Once again, Emmy sighed. Back to the Knuckerhole it was. She picked up Cassie's limp body and slung it over her weak female shoulders, knees shaking.

BoobooGone didn't bat an eye.

Ord finished wiping his ass. That dragonberry chocolate cake went right through him. He got up and washed his hands thoroughly, singing happy birthday to make sure he got rid of all the icky bacteria.

Germs? Not in this christian household, thought Ord to himself. He wiped his hands and exited the cozy bathroom into the more open living room. He never wanted to see Cass or Emmy again. Consciously sinning was one thing, but under their roof was another. He put the last few empty glasses in the sink and folded up the tablecloth. Then he heard it.

A knock at the door.

Ord swallowed, hoping to contain his anger in the case that it was a late night visitor or burglar. He approached the door, tablecloth in hand. Firmly, he grasped the doorknob and cracked it open. It was Emmy. She had Cassie in her arms. Ord was taken aback. He knew that they had disciplined Cassie rightfully as any self-respecting servant of god should, but this was something else. Cassie was trembling. Ord looked Emmy in the eye with a dull glare.

"And what brings you back here?" Emmy gulped.

"It's Cassie. She's… She's in a bad way."

Ord chuckled. "Yeah, thanks to us. She deserved what she got."

"No, there's more," Emmy replied. "I took her to BoobooGone, but the dumb fuck had her pumped full of carfentanil. I don't know what to do, that stupid cunt is useless and Cassie might die if we don't get her any naloxone!" Emmy prayed to herself that Ord would show a shred of humanity in Cassie's moment of peril. Ord looked back into the knuckerhole, hesitant. He opened the door.

"Come in, I'll get the others." Ord walked back into Zak and Wheezie's home as Emmy followed, dragging Cassie's limp body behind behind her. Not like she'd be able to feel anything anyway in this state. The twins were waiting inside the Knuckerhole with dark expressions on their faces. Emmy nodded at them awkwardly. Wheezie shook her head and Zak looked in the other direction. Ord cleared his throat.

"Okay. So earlier today, a terrible sin was committed in this household. Cassie, a dragon, had sex with Emmy, a human. This act would be enough to damn their souls for all eternity. However, she should at least have a chance to repent, and it looks as though she may not get that opportunity thanks to our dear old friend Doctor BoobooGone. I know we all have mixed feelings about Emmy and Cass right now, but I think we should help them. What do you guys think?" Zak and Wheezie looked at each other and then back at Ord, then shrugged.

"Whatever you say, man," said Zak, kicking at the ground.

"I just don't want to see any more of that… behaviour…" muttered Wheezie. "Do you realize how long it will take me to fully scrape the cum off that comforter? That was a gift from our grandmother!"

"As soon as this is sorted out, Emmy will clean your entire bedroom," declared Ord. Emmy started to object, but decided against it. Instead, she turned the topic back to the more immediate problem.

"Ord, is there anywhere in Dragon Land that we could get our hands on some naloxone? It's the only thing that can save Cassie now. We need to find some as quickly as possible."

Ord thought for a moment, stroking his leathery chin. "Well… professor Quetzal might have something that can help us. He's one of the smartest dragons in Dragon Land. I mean, that's not saying much but it's worth a shot. He still runs the school in the sky if you recall visiting there 24 years ago… it's not guaranteed but it's worth a shot."

"Oh yeah, we went there quite often, didn't we?" Emmy thought for a moment. "Well, it's not a great idea, but it's the best we've got. We'll have to fly there, if I remember correctly. Do you think you'll be able to carry Cass?"

Ord took a look at the large, scaly mass that lay twitching on the floor. He sighed. "Yeah, I suppose so."

"Great," said Emmy. "Okay guys, let's go."


	8. Chapter Eight

"We be landin'!" exclaimed Scallywag excitedly. The old seadog's mood improved ever since he got four new slaves. Ash brushed the sleep from his eyes as he clambered onto the expansive wooden deck, still distracted with loud thoughts of his dream.

"Where the fuck are we? I don't see a school." he grumbled.

"Arr, if you remember back in chapter four I told ya that my route did not go directly to th' school. But we ain't too far. It be just at the top of that there hill." Ash took a look around. They appeared to be on a floating island or some shit, most of it taken up by a very large hill. At the top, he could just make out the outline of the dumbest looking building he had ever seen. It was literally just a shack. Some genius must have thought it would be a good idea to stick some stone towers on in random places, because lopsided castlelike structures jetted out everywhere, despite the dilapidated building appearing to have little structural integrity.

"What the hell? You can't spare a few minutes to take me up to the school? Are you lazy or just an ass?"

"Just an ass," Scallywag chuckled. "Now get off my fuckin' boat or I'll have to charge you extra," he continued, eyeing Ash's Dragonite. Ash glared at the crusty captain licking his lips before scooping the still incapacitated Pikachu into his arms and disembarking the vessel.

Ash now stood at the bottom of the incredibly steep hill, glumly watching Mr. Scallywag's boat rise back up into the air and fly off into the distance. That piece of shit had taken four of his best Pokemon and hadn't even bothered to drop him off at the door of the school. Sure his other pokemon were kind of devoid of any minute sense of worth to him, but as his mother had taught him, it was the principle of the matter. Muttering every curse word he had learned from Brock under his breath, he began his ascent. At first, the walk seemed fine. It presented a chance to clear his head and calm down. After a while though, Ash remembered how much he despised walking, especially uphill. He began to sweat profusely, and his breathing became heavy. He had to take frequent rests, pacing himself so that he could take water breaks to rehydrate. Who the fuck makes a hill so steep? he thought to himself. Finally, after two whole minutes, Ash made it to the entrance of the School in the Sky. Panting, and visibly trembling from the stress the climb had put on his abused body, he began to bang on the door.

"Hey, anyone here?" he shouted. He could hear shuffling from the other side. The door opened up, and Ash was met with the saggy beige face of who he assumed to be Quetzal, the contact Scallywag had told him about.

"Yes?" asked the older dragon, appearing a little bemused as to how someone could possibly scale that hill and survive. Ash looked up.

"Are… are you Quetzal?" he asked, adjusting his iconic baseball cap. Quetzal nodded wisely as a wise man might do.

"Indeed I am child, what brings you to the School in the Sky? It is not often that we are visited by humans, especially human children." Ash shrugged.

"I kinda… I kinda just showed up here out of nowhere… I need to go home… a man named Captain Scallywag suggested that you might hold the solution to my problems?" Quetzal stroked his chin, absorbed in thought. Could this saggy old fart really help Ash find a way home.

"Well…" whispered Quetzal to himself. "In order to return home… ah yes, you must not be from this world are you? This whole experience might be a bit of a shock to someone in your position in that case... In order to return home, you need to recite a poem aloud for all to hear. If performed successfully, you should be teleported back to your homeworld." Ash pouted. A poem? Poems were for men who liked dick, and he wasn't no faggot. He shook his head in disgust.

"Are there any other ways, professor Quetzal? I don't mean to be rude, but if anyone sees me reciting a gay poem…" Quetzal shook his head in disapproval.

"No, if I recall, that's the only way… regardless I cannot remember the rhyme due to Alzheimer's. However I know people who do… I haven't spoken with them in 24 years however…" Ash sighed.

"Who are they?" Ash asked, desperate. Quetzal stroked his chin.

"Two other humans like yourself, siblings named… uh… Max and Emma I believe. They used to come to Dragon Land all the time. They still might for all I know, but like I said, I haven't seen them in over two decades. If you want to find them I'd suggest looking for a dragon named Ord and his friends Cassie, Zak, and Wheezie. They used to be very close with the humans." Ash groaned. This was turning out to be a wild Pidgey chase.

"I have no way off this fucking… sky island thing. What am I supposed to do?" he asked, nonplussed.

"Yeah, you're kinda screwed there kid. I've been stuck here for the past 24 years myself, ever since my wings stopped working. The only person who ever comes up here anymore is Mr. Scallywag, and he hasn't let me on his boat since... the incident." Ash decided not to ask about this.

"Well, if I'm going to be here for a while, there is one other thing I need some help with," he said, moving aside some heavy textbooks and pulling Pikachu out of his backpack. "My friend has been acting really stupid lately and now he's gotten himself into a coma. Do you happen to have, I dunno, some sort of cure for that or something? I'm not really sure how comas work, usually we just use potions or some shit." Quetzal stared at the little yellow creature in Ash's arms.

"What in fuck's name is that? It looks like you spray painted a dead rat." Ash scoffed at the professor's stupidity.

"Look Dr. Quetzal? Or did you go to grad school? Mr. Quetzal, I don't have time for this, Pikachu needs some serious help." Quetzal sighed.

"I might have something, follow me." The mustard yellow dragon turned and motioned for the pokemon trainer to follow him. They made their way across the floor toward a large stone staircase. As they descended, the sound of their footsteps echoed, implying a large room awaited them. Reaching the stairs landing, Ash was surprised to see sophisticated technology. He had thought these dragons had lived in backwater hillbillylike ways, similar to those incestuous rednecks who lived off of Route 12, but the room he now found himself in more strongly resembled the Pokemon Lab on Cinnabar Island. Impressed, Ash put his hands on his hips.

"This is an impressive set-up you got here. How does an old geezer like yourself get his claws on something like this?" Quetzal exhaled.

"Despite the local economy being relatively poor and our healthcare system tanking, The School in the Sky has received funding from anonymous beneficiaries over the years."

"And what exactly does this stuff do?" asked Ash. Quetzal shook his head.

"Do not worry about it child. It would take someone with a grad degree to understand." Quetzal smirked at his smart jab and led Ash to a shiny metallic countertop near the center of the room. He opened a drawer and pulled out a small glass vial containing a clear liquid. He put it on the countertop.

"Now if you don't mind, I'll show you how to apply this to your… rat thing. Naloxone." Quetzal pulled out a list he had gotten from the internet, pulling a syringe out as he read to Ash:

Do rescue breathing for a few quick breaths if the person is not breathing.

Use a long needle: 1 – 1 ½ inch (called an IM or intramuscular needle)- needle exchange programs and pharmacies have these needles.

Pop off the orange top vial  
Draw up 1cc of naloxone into the syringe 1cc=1mL=100u.

Inject into a muscle – thighs, upper, outer quadrant of the butt, or shoulder are best.

Inject straight in to make sure to hit the muscle.

If there isn't a big needle, a smaller needle is OK and inject under the skin, but if possible it is better to inject into a muscle.

"So what exactly is this stuff?" Ash asked, chuckling due to the professor's use of the word "butt".

"Well, it's usually used to combat the effects of opiate drugs, but in the case of a lot of small animals it can be used to treat shock or spinal/ brain injury," Quetzal replied. The two watched Pikachu twitch slightly on the countertop. Ash glanced at Quetzal, worried, but the old dragon shook his head. "That's supposed to happen. I think." The young trainer was unconvinced.

"So when's he gonna wake up?" Quetzal shrugged.

"It could be days, weeks even." You should take these and adminster into your rat every 24 hours. Do not forget, or he could suffer from permanent brain damage!" he said cheerfully. Ash nodded, understand the importance.

"Thank you sir," Ash chirped. "So where can I find these other dragons you were talking about." Quetzal shrugged.

"I think they live in one of those Knuckerholes down on the surface. But like I said earlier, good luck getting there." Ash heaved a heavy sigh. Every solution was leading to yet another problem. He supposed he should be grateful to the old fart though, as he did manage to save Pikachu. Possibly. Ash thanked Quetzal once again before climbing back up the stairs and exiting the school. Looking around, he pondered his next course of action. He would have to get off this island somehow, that much was certain. But according to the professor, the only way back to the surface was on Scallywag's boat, and Ash doubted the slave trader would be returning anytime soon. Not knowing what else to do, he began to descend the hill, hoping to spot something, anything, that could be of use to him.

He became so distracted that he didn't notice the group of dragons and the woman who had just landed at the entrance of the school behind him.


	9. Chapter Nine

(A/N: Another short break, DO NOT complain if this style of writing isn't your cup of tea. Also please stop private messaging me telling me to take the story down. The story is rated M so you should know what you're getting into when you click. :) Thanks!)

The sun was setting at the end of another gorgeous day on Cinnabar Island. Professor Butternut stood outside the entrance to the Pokémon Lab, cigarette held to his lips, butt illuminating his face in the newborn dusk. The lab had finally slowed down for the first time in what felt like ages. After a long day's work, it always eased his mind when he stepped out the door and was reminded of just how beautiful Cinnabar was. He closed his eyes and took a deep, contented breath. The door to his back slammed abruptly, cutting the silence like a knife.

"Jesus fuck, what a long day!" came the exasperated voice of Professor Fig Tree. Butternut sighed. He loved his partner, but he certainly knew how to encroach on a peaceful moment.

"Calm down, Figgy. I thought you liked this job," mused the older professor, keeping his eyes shut and trying to focus on the seafoam breeze that blew across his weathered face.

"Sure I do. I mean, I did. But it seems like we're always cooped up in that stupid lab lately, I miss the field work. I miss studying Pokemon in their natural habitat. I miss not wanting to kill myself after every. Single. Fucking. Day." At this, Butternut turned to face his significant other.

"Okay, don't say that. It's offensive to people who actually do want to kill themselves. You're delegitimizing something already plagued with stigma when you do that. What you need is some cheering up." Fig Tree grumbled at this.

"What did you have in mind?" he asked.

"Oh, I have a few ideas," Butternut winked. Fig Tree bit his lip, intrigued.

"Ah?"

"Mhm," Butternut nodded slyly. He took Fig Tree's hands in his own, pressing their palms up against each other. He exhaled.

"This is a little too exposed though, don't you think~?" Fig Tree gulped, nodding in agreeance. Like a tree, Butternut would soon release his seed into the air. The pair of them strolled down to the beach, hand in hand, giddy. Technically the beach near the lab was private, but at this time of day it would be even less likely that the couple would be interrupted. Taking off their shoes, they walked onto the white sand beach, digging their toes into the now cooled sand. Butternut eagerly threw his labcoat to the side, laughing. Fig Tree, by nature, checked out his senior coworker's khaki-clad buttocks. He grinned.

"I might be a fig, and you might look like a wrinkled prune, but god Butternut, if you can't pull it off..." Fig Tree's voice trailed off as Butternut put a masculine finger up to Fig Tree's parted lips.

"Shhh…" he cooed. "Time for talking is over." Fig Tree blushed, quickly submitting to Butternut's touch.

"Ah~" he moaned, sensually. Butternut winked, knowing that Fig Tree had been caught under his orgasmic spell. Quickly, the two lovers stripped one another of their clothes. The younger professor took a moment to admire his partner's well-hung naked body. Butternut may have been several years older than him, but he was still well-built for is age. Dick poised, Butternut reached down towards Professor Fig Tree's groin, running the tip of his index finger up the length of Fig's shaft in a sensual manner. Although Fig Tree was an almost equally suited lover, his lack of PhD would render him useless against his partner's touch. Fig moaned, trying to contain himself as Butternut started stroking his Metapod eagerly.

"I see your Metapod here has chosen to use harden," smirked Butternut, cocky. Blushing, Fig grabbed onto Butternut's chest.

"You're not wrong my good friend," he admitted, lustily. The two of them then ferociously made out, like two ratatas fighting for dominance. Rolling on the beach, the two began making sweet, sweet unadulterated love with one another. Fig Tree gasped, as butternut turned him over, sheathing his Honedge into his derrière.

"I'M GONNA BUTTERNUT INSIDE OF YOU," threatened Professor Butternut. Fig Tree nodded, consensually, because consent is an important foundational aspect for all sexual relationships, and the two of them respected the other with great dignity and wished to insure both comfort and good communication through establishing safe words and the likes. Pumping intensely, the pair gained speed and traction as Butternut grabbed onto his partner for stability. His girthy meat barely fit into Fig's rear door, but the anal fluid and blood eventually made for a suitable natural lubricant. Fig Tree moaned in utter ecstasy at this private moment.

Unbeknownst to the professors lying in post-coital bliss on the sand, a figure dressed entirely in black had been secretly watching from behind a Pecha berry tree. Not watching in a pervy way mind you (although what it had just seen was pretty hot), but waiting for the perfect moment to make its move. It had decided to let them finish their love-making first. They should have their fun, it thought. It'll be the last they'll ever have. Now that the two men had finished, however, it was time for the figure to do what it had to do. Reaching into its large black cloak's deep pockets, it retrieved the m1911 single-action, semi-automatic handgun it had "borrowed" from a tent that had been pitched not far from the beach where the mysterious figure was now.

The figure began to decide the best way to go about this. Should it shoot them from here or actually go and confront them? It had never had much experience with guns of any sort, so it was worried that it might miss its shot from here. But it didn't want to risk either of them escaping. Sighing, it reached for the safety of the handgun, only to realize it was already off. Careless fuck, the figure thought of the boy who owned the gun. It wondered what had become of the little perv after his trip to the other world. Hopefully he had been eaten by the dragons at this point. Shaking its head and returning focus to the task at hand, the dark figure aimed the handgun directly at the head of the closest professor before pulling the trigger with a click.

Before he knew it, Butternut had climaxed, spilling frothy white cream all over Fig Tree's buttocks. The liquid resembled that of MooMoo Milk. Panting, unable to process what amazing feat had just happened, Fig Tree collapsed on the ground, butt sore, soaked in fluid.

He gazed up into Butternut's eyes and knew that this man was the best thing that had ever happened to him. In a stressful job that took up most of his time, the older professor was the only thing keeping him sane. He needed to tell him.

"...I love you, Professor Butternut," he whispered gently into the older man's ear. The other professor smiled.

"I love you too, Figgy. In fact…" Butternut blushed as he looked around for his clothes. Spotting them, he rummaged through a pocket before pulling out something small. He cupped it in his hands so that Fig Tree couldn't see. Butternut cleared his throat before continuing. "Professor Fig Tree," he began, sounding nervous. At this point, he opened his hands to reveal a ring. "Will you marry me?" Fig tree gasped, eyes widened.

"Oh Butternut, I-" Suddenly, there was a loud bang. The younger professor quickly looked around to see what had caused the noise. Seeing nothing, he turned back to Butternut to continue his response, but immediately noticed that something was wrong. Butternut's face seemed frozen in that hopeful expression he'd had during his proposal, but his eyes seemed distant, unblinking. A second later, he collapsed. Blood mingled with the sand. Fig Tree could see a large bullet hole in the side of his lover's head.

"Butternut? Butternut?! No!" he cried. He put his hands on the shoulders of the still naked body and began to shake it. "Wake up! Wake up! Goddammit, don't do this to me!" Tears were streaming down Fig Tree's cheeks as he desperately tried to pull himself together and find the bastard who did this. Then, he spotted him. Or her, or it, or whatever. A figure cloaked in black emerged from behind a nearby tree holding what the professor quickly recognized as a m1911 single-action, semi-automatic handgun. "Oh my fucking god!" shouted Fig Tree. "Why did you do that! Why!?"

"Nothing personal, kid," growled the figure, clearly disguising its voice. "Well, it kinda is, but I'm not gonna explain my plans. I'm just gonna kill you now."

"What's the harm in telling me your plans if you're just going to kill me anyway?" the professor stammered, attempting to stall. The figure thought about this.

"Nothing really. I just don't want to," it replied. "Now, any last words?" Fig Tree thought long and hard about this, until he came up with the best insult that he possibly could.

"Fuck you," he said.

The figure chuckled, aimed, and pulled the trigger.


	10. Chapter Ten

The quintet landed roughly on the patchy grass absentmindedly. Emmy hopped off of Ord, helping the still tripping Cassie down. Hopefully this little excursion would qualm her fears for her lesbian friend. Making their way up the stone steps to the prestigious institution, Ord knocked briskly. Gazing up at the modified shacklike structure, Emmy recalled fond memories of her and her younger brother's adventures 24 years ago. She didn't dwell on these for too long, however. Time was of the essence; Cassie needed naloxone, and fast. She ran the last few feet to the door and started to bang on it loudly.

"Hello? Quetzal? You in there? It's Emmy," she shouted. She pressed her ear against the door, listening for any possible movement that might be the teacher. For all they had known, he might've passed on years ago. He was getting pretty old Emmy thought to herself. Shrugging, she pointed this possibility out to the group.

"What if Quetzal kicked the can?" Ord shook his head.

"I doubt it, that old man made a deal with the devil years ago, he's running on fumes. And to think that I believed him when he said he was a man of God. For heaven's sake, we were in the same bible studies class!" Ord shook his head religiously, eyes to the ground. Emmy sighed.

"Well clearly no one's answering, so I say we bust this door down." Wheezie coughed.

"But isn't that illegal?" she asked, worried. Zak nodded in agreement.

"Wheezie's right, what if Quetzal practices his constitutional rights?" Emmy cocked an eyebrow. Zak sighed, impatient.

"The second amendment?" Emmy shrugged in response, still not getting it.

"The right to bear arms," affirmed Ord, tone deepening. "God bless the second amendment. Don't worry everyone, the constitution only applies to christians and jews alike." Zak and Wheezie relaxed a little and Emmy nodded.

"Right, I understand." She turned back to the door. "Then you'll do the honours, Ord?" Ord nodded and pulled back his fist, ready to launch the door completely off its hinges. Unfortunately, it was in this moment that Quetzal finally opened the door, only to receive a scaly blue knuckle sandwich.

"WHAT IN THE FLYING FUCK!?" bellowed the crusty old dragon, hands flying to his face. In this state, he was unable to see who was at the door. "I'll kill whoever the fuck is responsible for this shit! I can do it legally too, thanks to the second amendment!"

"Woah woah woah," said Emmy quickly. "We don't want any trouble. This was an accident. Ord was just trying to bash your door in is all."

Quetzal looked like he was going to shout again, but then hesitated.

"...Emmy?" he beckoned blindly. "Is that you? Christ, it's been so long!"

"24 years," Emmy replied, smiling. Despite the desperate situation that she was currently in, the nostalgia of seeing her old teacher again certainly helped lighten the mood.

"You know, it's the funniest thing," said the old dragon, still covering his eyes. "I was just talking about you today. Some human kid was in here not too long ago, and he reminded me of you a little bit." Emmy brushed off the slightly racist comment.

"Quetzal, we were wondering if you could help us. My friend here is overdosing on some sort of elephant tranquilizer drug or whatever thanks to that piece of shit Dr. BoobooGone, and we figured if anyone in Dragon Land had the antidote then it would be you."

Quetzal removed his hands from his face and squinted at the group in the doorway. "Ord! Zak! Wheezie! You're here too! And what's that ugly pink thing you have with you?"

"It's Cassie, remember her? She's the one that needs help."

"Very well, bring it inside. And make sure it doesn't get drool on my carpet, it's incredibly expensive to import carpet cleaner to Dragonland ever since it became a popular recreational drug among youth." He sighed. "So what were you guys here for again?"

"Naloxone," chirped Emmy. Can you see if you have any?

"Right, yeah yeah. Come on in then, we'll have to go down into the basement. Don't be shy." The troop obeyed Quetzal's motions and followed the senile fuck down the stairs.

"This place is scary," exclaimed Zak nervously. "It's as cold as that fucking french bitch Emilie FUCK YOU EMILIE FOR REJECTING ME WHAT THE FUCK." Wheezie shook her head.

"I have no idea what you're talking about Zak, get over it already whatever it is." Before they knew it they had already reached the expansive lower floor of the School in the Sky. Quetzal looked around and shuffled over to a drawer, fumbling through it ambly. Emmy looked around at all the silver-surface countertops and equipment strewn about.

"This is quite the set-up you got here. I don't remember this being here when we were kids." Quetzal shook his head.

"Neither do I." Emmy bit her lip as Quetzal reached the back of the drawer.

"Huh… I thought I kept it here…" he turned to the group. "Sorry everyone, looks like it's missing. I don't recall ever using it… then again… maybe that means I DID." Emmy jumped up and grabbed Quetzal by the necklace in a seething rage.

"LISTEN HERE YOU DECREPIT OLD FUCK. IF YOU DON'T GET AHOLD OF SOME OF THAT FUCKING NALOXONE YOU'RE GONNA WIND UP LIKE CASSIE. MAYBE WORSE. OUR FRIEND IS DYING HERE AND YOU'RE GONNA GIVE UP THAT EASILY?!" Quetzal gulped.

"Who now?"

"Cassie!" Emmy barked, annoyed.

"Was that the young lad who swung by here earlier looking for some drug help?" Emmy let go of his necklace, causing Quetzal to slump on the ground.

"Did you give that kid our medicine, professor? Oh for fuck's sake, you've really done it this time. How could you forget a transaction you've made?! You haven't had a visitor in 24 years!" Quetzal shrugged.

"Who are you again?" he asked, confused. Emmy facepalmed epically.

"Emmy. Ord. Zak and Wheezie. Cassie."

"Wh…" Quetzal's alzheimic voice trailed off in confusion. "Who are you and what are you doing on my property?!" In a surprisingly quick move for such an old geezer, Quetzal whipped out his m1911 single-action semi-automatic handgun. The group threw their hands into the air in surrender.

"Now don't any of you ungrateful millennials move as much as a muscle or I'll pump ya full of lead… or worse." Quetzal squinted his eyes in a menacing fashion. Emmy gulped. The dragon took a step forward and pressed the cold metal barrel of the gun against her forehead. Emmy suppressed the almost inhuman urge to scream. She closed her eyes hard, waiting for the inevitable bang, followed by darkness. But it never came. Not because Quetzal had a sudden change of heart (or return of memory) but because he couldn't shut his fat fucking face long enough to concentrate on killing the group.

"You would think a dragon of my age would be able to have some peace and quiet in my last few years on this miserable planet, but no. Fuck that. How about we just let a bunch of little kids run around my private drug lab-"

"I'm thirty, actually…" squeaked Emmy before covering her mouth with her hands, waiting for Quetzal to react. But he wasn't listening.

"It's not like I fucking deserve this. My life has gone downhill ever since the government cut funding to the ONLY PLACE OF EDUCATION IN THE ENTIRE FUCKING LAND. Enrollment went down, and I was essentially out of a job. If I wasn't goddamn magical I probably would have starved to death stranded here! Honestly, you know what? I wish I did starve to death 24 years ago! Yeah, then I wouldn't have to put up with you- what were you doing again?"

"We-"

"Shut up! Did I say you could fucking speak? God damn you!" Quetzal pistol whipped Emmy in the face with the butt of his gun, causing a gut-wrenching sound akin to a watermelon being dropped. Emmy fell down to the ground, catching herself on her elbows. A couple teeth had flown out, with blood quickly pouring from her nose. Her vision went blurry, but before she could react, Quetzal cocked his gun into her mouth, filling it much like a human penis would. The metallic taste was only amplified when combined with the blood flooding her oral cavity. Emmy sputtered, trying to keep consciousness well also trying to process what had just happened. Quetzal continued as the others looked on in horror.

"You know what?" he said quietly, in a voice that made Emmy shiver. "I don't even remember a thing that happened in the last three minutes. But that doesn't change the fact that I'm going to kill you. Right. Fucking. Now!

Ord, Zak, and Wheezie watched this entire scenario take place without offering Emmy any help, partly because they were too terrified, but mostly because they were 99% sure that Quetzal had forgotten they were even there and didn't want to reinstate their presence. With these last words, however, Ord wondered if maybe he should step in after all. She was his friend, and she hadn't been given a chance to redeem herself in the eyes of God for the sinful act of interspecies lesbian sex before she died. Quetzal's trigger finger flexed, preparing to fire. If the old professor killed her now, she would almost certainly go to hell. Just as he moved forward to interfere however, they were quickly enveloped in a sudden rush of wind, bright colours simultaneously spilling into the room. Emmy and the dragons watched the familiar display as the colours formed a more discernable shape; the images of small, winged reptiles swirled around and around until they evaporated, leaving a young man standing in their wake.

"Max!" shouted everyone in surprise, Quetzal included.

"I haven't seen you in 24 years, how've you been?" the professor smiled, still crouched over Emmy's limp body with the gun deep in her throat.

"Wha- what the fuck are you doing to Emmy?" gasped Max. Before Quetzal could respond, Max lunged at the elderly dragon in a tackle, causing him to instantaneously lose grasp of the weapon. Quetzal rolled over onto his back, surprised. Emmy coughed and spat out the m1911 single-action, semi-automatic handgun.

"No one does that to my sister but ME!" he pointed at himself in a threatening gesture. Quetzal rubbed his head from the fall onto cold concrete. Zak and Wheezie quickly helped Emmy to her feet.

"Ord, grab hold of him!" Ord, a servant of God, quickly obeyed, for he knew this was the Christian thing to do. He picked Quetzal up by his arms, and propped him up in a restraint. Quetzal struggled, but the strength of God helped Ord hold him static. Max picked the gun off the ground and pointed it to Quetzal in turn.

"You wouldn't!" gasped Quetzal. "After all the good times we shared together, THIS is how you repay me?"

"Bitch I can barely remember you, I was literally like four the last time I heard from your stuffy old ass!" Ord stepped aside as Max pulled a series of shots, each hitting Quetzal square in the chest. The old dragon wheezed as his torso shred to pieces, leaking like a punctured casket of fine red wine. The professor took one last shaky breath and was no more.

"Looks like you just got… schooled," said Max in a poor attempt at saying something clever about the old dragon's death.

"Max! You came back!" shouted Emmy, tears in her eyes as she ran to embrace her brother.

"Course I did. You're my sister, no matter what sort of kinky shit you're into. Plus I remembered I fap like crazy to lesbian porn and realized I was being a hypocrite." He glanced at Ord and the others after this admittal. "Don't worry, I always repent afterward."

His friends seemed too happy to see him to care. "So much has happened in the short time you've been gone, I don't even know where to start," began Emmy, but Wheezie tapped her on the shoulder.

"Not that I want to break up the happy reunion, but aren't we in a bit of a hurry? We need to track down the kid that Quetzal mentioned if we have any hope of saving Cassie. If he was even real and not just another one of the old geezer's hallucinations, of course."

Emmy nodded. "Wheezie's right Max. Cassie got beaten up really bad and then started overdosing on some carfentanil Dr. BoobooGone administered. Long story short we need some naloxone and this kid the old guy mentioned has it." Max stroked the three hairs on his chin in deep contemplation.

"Well where do we start looking?"


	11. Chapter Eleven

Ash picked himself up off the cold, hard earth, bruised and slightly pissed off. He had stood at the edge of that damned floating island for what seemed like forever, looking for any possible way off. It looked like Scallywag had really fucked him over this time; there was absolutely nothing that was going to get him back to the ground safely. So, grimacing, he had spontaneously picked a spot which he believed to be over a body of water and jumped. Unfortunately, Ash realized immediately that the jump was a lot farther away than he had originally anticipated, and let out a scream, panicking. His life flashed before his eyes when a realization dawned unto him.

"Jesus Fucking Christ I'm gonna die a virgin!" he bellowed as he plummeted toward his almost certain demise. However, at the very last second, his voluptuous Dragonite had swooped in beneath him, breaking his fall. The flight was far from graceful though; the pokemon had immediately cringed under Ash's weight and had flown off-course, directly into a tree.

Which was how Ash found himself in the position he was in now. Brushing the dirt off of himself, he rounded furiously on Dragonite.

"What the fuck kinda landing was that huh? You- wait a minute. I could've flown on your back this whole time? Giving up my pokemon to Scallywag was entirely pointless? You know what: fuck you!" Dragonite recoiled, clearly having expected a compliment for saving Ash's life. The trainer had never treated him this way before, because unlike Pikachu, he wasn't a natural fuckup. Ash brought back a splayed hand and smacked Dragonite across the face. The orange dragon shed a tear. Ash exhaled, still heated.

"Consider this a warning. You're supposed to be flawless Dragonite, what has gotten into you?!" He brushed dirt and debris off of the ratty old Levi's he found at Walmart and looked up and took in his surroundings. His body still ached from the fall.

"Fuck okay, we should really find a place to rest up for a bit… maybe somewhere with bandages or clean water…?" Dragonite nodded in agreement. Ash chuckled humorlessly to himself at the thought of actually finding a decent place to squat in this savage reality. The most civilized locale he had seen in Dragonland thus far had been Quetzal's lab, and he had an ominous feeling that places like that were few and far between. It reeked of barbarism. Nonetheless, sitting around and twiddling their thumbs wouldn't be productive either. So, picking a direction at random, he set off into the unknown. He didn't even get halfway through the grove they had landed in however before he was stopped dead in his tracks. He had just remembered something, something important.

"Shit! Pikachu!" He did a quick search of his backpack, which is he had unceremoniously stuffed his friend in before swan diving off the island. His heart sank as he discovered the dumb rat creature was gone.

"Dragonite?" asked Dragonite with a concerned expression on his scaly face.

"Uh, it's okay," said Ash, trying to calm himself as much as his Pokemon. "He couldn't have gone far, he was still in that stupid coma. We just have to search the area. C'mon, hurry!"

Ash quickly started scouring the area from tree to tree. He called Pikachu's name in desperation. Dragonite aided him in the search halfheartedly; he had always been slightly jealous of Pikachu. How did that ugly mouse thing earn the title of Ash's best friend after the countless punishments he had to endure? How could Ash care about Pikachu so much when he, Dragonite, was clearly the superior pet? The Pokemon pretended to inspect a bush as his master carried on his frantic search, still shouting like an ass.

Half an hour passed. Ash had strayed pretty far from Dragonite by this point, his efforts yet to yield results. He eventually found his way back to their original starting point, where he found Dragonite, still staring glassy-eyed into the foliage.

"What the fuck, Dragonite? You're still on the same bush?" The trainer rushed over to give his dragon-type a swift kick in the ass, only for something to catch his eye. A flash of yellow deep within the brush. Pikachu had been in Dragonite's bush the entire time!

"Good job Dragonite! I knew I could count on you!" Ash leaned over and propped up Pikachu's limp paralyzed body in his hands.

"For fuck's sake Pikachu, quit straying from the party." Ash shook the electric mouse Pokémon much like one would a crying infant.

"Ugh you're so stupid, I should probably try administering that naloxone right about now, because carrying around dead weight is backbreaking." Ash dropped Pikachu onto the rocky ground and shuffled once more through his knapsack. He pulled out a small vial accompanied by a syringe. He uncapped the vile and prepared the needle. As he pressed the prick up against Pikachu's arm, a firm hand grasped Ash's shoulder, causing him to stop. He turned around expecting a frisky Dragonite but instead was met in turn with great disappointment.

Looming over him was a motley crew of dragons and (Ash did a double take) people! These were the first actual humans he had seen since arriving in Dragonland (besides Scallywag, but he hardly counted due to his numerous amputations). The one currently holding him by the shoulder was a large blue reptile with a stern yet sanctified expression on his face. Standing next to him were two hideously conjoined twin dragons and a young man and woman of similar age and appearance. At the woman's feet layed a disgusting pink blob.

"What the fuck is that?" Ash tilted his head to the writhing mass on the ground.

"That, my friend, is our pal Cassie. She was given a hardy dose of carfentanil, and you have the cure right there in your hand." said the girl. Ash looked down at the syringe and then back up at her tits.

"Okay that's nice, by why don't you guys get your own? I have to give this to my best friend Pikachu, he's in a coma for being a dumbass." The blue dragon snatched the needle from Ash's hand.

"Nuh uh uh, God created man in his own image, so evidently Cassie's life should be prioritized over that of a small dog." Ash squinted.

"But aren't you guys dragons? That's kinda different from ma-"

"SILENCE!" the blue dragon bellowed back. It appeared that he would not allow his values to be impeded upon by worthless harlots and the like. "What is your name, child?"

"Ash Ketchum," said Ash Ketchum.

"Well Ashley, you worthless harlot, I request that you back down. Our friend hasn't had the opportunity to repent for her sinful lifestyle choices. This is quite literally the key to the gates of heaven if she so might choose to redeem herself." Ash scratched his head in confusion at the sanctimonious banter. He opened his mouth, but couldn't even think of a retort for the utter retardation that could only be the Old Testament.

The woman stepped forward again. "Okay, okay. Let's start over. My name is Emmy, and this is my brother Max. We've been coming to Dragonland for a while now, and-"

"Emmy, Ord has the drug now. Why the fuck are we still even talking to this idiot," said Max impatiently.

"Because, I want him to understand how important this is-"

"Understand this, bitch!" shouted Ash unexpectedly. He straightened himself up and punched Emmy square in the face. He then made a grab for the vial in the blue dragon's hand.

"Ord, over here!" shouted Max, and the dragon tossed him the naloxone. Ash turned in the man's direction, but ran directly into the revolting twins, who had stepped in to block his attack.

"Now now, everyone, settle down," said the green twin on the left. "Maybe there's a better way of sorting this out."

"Zak's right," said the purple twin.

"Zak, Wheezie, why should we give a damn about this fuckhead? He was about to waste that drug on a goddamn mouse!" exclaimed Max.

"Let theb talg, mags," slurred Emmy, blood pouring from her nose. "Id's nod worth de efford."

"Perhaps there is a way to share the contents of this vial?" suggested Zak.

"Mm, no Zak, that won't work," his twin piped in, disagreeing with her brother. "There's not enough for two of them."

"Oh. Fuck him then." The crew turned and began to walk away. This was too much for Ash. Screaming, he made a lunge for the vial, which Max had passed to Emmy. Grabbing at her left tit for support, \wrestling her to the ground. The girl's brother grabbed him by both shoulders and heaved him off of her, swearing.

"Mags! Deh rhyme! Quig!" shouted Emmy. Ash froze in surprise as Max, instead of continuing to attack, grabbed hold of his sister and the pink cripple. He started reciting a gay poem.

I wish, I wish,

Ash wasn't sure where he was going with this.

To use this rhyme,

Wait a minute. Ash had used a gay poem to get here in the first place! These cunts were trying to make off with the goods!

To go back home,

Until next time

Making a mad dash, Ash pushed the pink piece of shit out of the way and once again laid his hands on Emmy's sizeable breasts just as Max finished the poem. The girl screamed, causing something to fall from her fingers.

Ash, Max, and Emmy watched helplessly as the vial of naloxone smashed upon the ground, the world around them disappearing into a swirl of colour and light.


	12. Chapter Twelve

Brock stretched out on his camping mat. He hadn't gotten much sleep last night. The heated exchange he had shared with Ash the day prior had really shaken him. The little cunt thought he was a womanizing pig did he? What the fuck is wrong with that!? It's not his fault that most women dress so provocatively. Removing his hand from his crotch and wiping it on the tent floor, Brock pushed himself up. It was still early, but he needed to make breakfast. He decided they should use up the last of that Bidoof meat before it spoiled. They were supposed to leave Cinnibar Island later today.

As he stepped out into the cool morning air, Brock noticed that he forgot to put the campfire out last night.

"I must've been some pissed over Ash! I NEVER forgot that!" Brock shrugged off his possibly fatal error with ease and checked their Coleman cooler.

"Just enough left," he said to himself. He threw the Bidoof meat on his trusty George Foreman grill and let it simmer.

As the juicy meat cooked away, he decided to go and wake Ash up. The little bitch always slept while he did all the work, and after the way he had been treated yesterday Brock decided that it was high time for him to help out. He went over to Ash's tent, hesitating only slightly to make sure he wasn't accidentally at Misty's tent again. He had seen some pretty disturbing things during the last incident, and he was NOT ready to go through that again. Unzipping the tent, he yelled at Ash.

"Hey, Fuckface, get up so I can show you how to cook breakfast and stop being a lazy cunthole!" No response. This was not unexpected. "This is your last warning you piece of shit, get up or I empty the contents of Geodude's litter box into your goddamn sleeping bag!" Still no response. Grumbling, Brock went to retrieve his Pokemon's fecal facilitator. He found it sitting next to Misty's tent and dragged it back to where Ash lay sleeping. He lifted the box, grunting under its weight, and heaved the heavy pebbles straight into the tent. He knew this would wake the bitch up. Except apparently, it didn't. Careful to avoid touching the rock type's excrement, Brock pulled back the covers of the sleeping bag, only to find that Ash wasn't there at all.

"What the fuck?" Brock muttered to himself. Now that he thought of it, he had never actually noticed Ash returning to the campsite last night. He began to worry. Ash might be a little shitbag, but Brock wasn't ready to dish out ten thousand dollars for a funeral service. Not like his mother would pay for it, she saw him off at 10 and had been fucking professor Oak ever since. Brock exhaled. He'd have to get Misty's help. With her boyish demeanour and street smarts she'd probably have an idea as to where to look first. He threw down the litter box and made his way back to her tent. He became progressively apprehensive about waking her up with every step he took. Taking another breath, Brock called out.

"Misty?" No response.

"Miiiiistyyyy…" Still nothing. Brock shifted his weight. Ominous noises began to omit from the tent flap.

"Ahhh, you know what, I'll just what for you to get up." Although Misty had the chest of a strapping young lad, she still had the explosive temperament of a woman.

Eventually, she rose from her slumber. Brock looked up from the picnic table.

Misty was yawning, stretching her unshapely arms into the air. Brock scoffed in disgust at her absence of raw sexual charisma. Ash was wrong, thought Brock. He was not attracted to every single woman after all. Of course, Misty barely counted as a woman, but Brock was going to stick with this point for argument's sake. She sat down at the table across from him, folding her arms.

"Mornin'," she said sleepily. "What's for breakfast?"

"More of that Bidoof, I figured we should use the last of it up before we left today. Oh, by the way, Ash is missing."

Misty choked on her Minute Maid orange juice, much like she would choke on another man's penis if she were actually of a realistic feminine persuasion. "What?! He's missing? Why the hell didn't you wake me up sooner?" she exclaimed.

Brock tapped his fingers together nervously. "Well, ever since last time I opened your tent I didn't really think…" He trailed off. The two shivered in remembrance of the encounter.

"Well, we have to go look for him then! We don't know what kind of dangers lie here on Cinnabar Island; people or Pokemon!"

"Ugh, right, let's pack up and get moving.

The two began their search of the campsite and surrounding area to no avail, so they widened their search to the greater Cinnabar area. They did not find him at the Pokemon Lab, the Pokecenter, Pokemart, Walmart, or Leader Blaine's Gym. The two sat out on the front step of the gym, exhausted. Misty put her ugly man hands onto the back of her head. She sighed.

"Well, I remember Ash mentioning in passing something about going to the beach, maybe we could check there?" Although Brock didn't like taking advice from a woman, the sheer desperation of the matter made him allow it this one time.

"Right." Brock stood up. "To the beach."

The pair slipped through the grove between the town and the shore.

"It should be about here," said Brock, looking at his map. The duo stepped out onto the beach, warm sand at their toes. Misty scanned the shoreline, hand to her neanderthalic brow. She made out a couple of lumps in the sand a ways over.

"What's that?" she asked, cluelessly like a woman would. Brock rolled his eyes.

"We'll have to make our way over and find out, now won't we dingus?" Misty pouted as the two continued their way down the beach to the mysterious figures laying there. As they got closer, they could make out that the figures in question were in fact, human. Misty gasped.

"Oh my god, are those DEAD BODIES?" She clasped a hand to her mouth in shock. Brock did the same.

"I'm calling 9-1-1." he said, pulling out his Nokia 106.

Shortly thereafter, the beach was closed off from the public with yellow tape, swarming with police activity. A young woman had pulled Brock and Misty to the side and introduced herself.

"Hello, my name is Officer Jenny. I need you to describe exactly how you came across these bodies."

I'd like to cum across your body, thought Brock as he ogled Jenny's form, which was much more beautiful and notably, quite the opposite of Misty's. From her blue hair to her brown eyes to her large breasts, she was one of the most attractive women he had ever seen, and he had seen a lot of attractive women. Brock had almost forgotten that she had asked him a question when Misty answered, breaking his trance. He glared at her in disdain.

"Well we were looking for our friend, Ash Ketchum. We were just about to file a missing person's case on Brock's Nokia, but then we happened upon these bodies." The sexy police officer nodded in understanding.

"Right, well why don't you two come down to the station and we can get everything logged and sorted out." She escorted Brock and Misty off the premises, her ass swaying to and fro much to Brock's delight. He bit his lip, trying to hide his throbbing love muscle.

The group arrived at the station posthaste. Jenny sat the pair down in the interogation room. A juniour officer brought them some coffee, and before they knew it the interview had gone underway.

"So, these bodies that you came across on the beach, did you recognize them?" Misty shook her head.

"No, we didn't. We're not even from Cinnibar Island. Brock's from Pewter City, and I'm from Cerulean City. We just came here on our adventure so our friend Ash could get the Cinnibar Island gym badge!" Jenny didn't look up from her notepad. She was busy scribbling away.

"And your friend Ash, you said he went missing recently?" Misty nodded.

"Yes, we're really worried about him. He's unable to look after himself, what with his disability and whatnot." Brock snapped out of his sexual trance at these words.

"Ash has a disability?" Misty shrugged.

"Okay, thank you Misty, that's all I needed to hear. We can discharge you now. If you want to wait for your friend, feel free to sit out front. Misty nodded and grabbed her jacket. She exited the interogation room. Jenny looked over at Brock.

"Speaking of discharge…"

She did not have to say another word before they both began to hastily remove their clothing. Brock didn't even question her sudden and unexpected motivation to do this, he just went along with it. He lusted after so many different women all the time, and it was rare that any of them seemed to return these feelings. Pulling the Jenny into a deep embrace, the two kissed passionately, their tongues a warm tangle. Nearly all of the officer's uniform was on the floor at this point, leaving her in nothing but a bra and her blue skirt. Brock pushed her down onto the desk and removed his boxers, revealing his large, erect Onix. Jenny gasped at it's girth and grasped it in her nimble fingers.

"Oh god," moaned Brock. "Onix, use Slam!" With that, he shoved the hard on directly into her gaping mouth, which resembled that of a Bruxish. Officer Jenny sucked on Brock's schlong with an intensity only matched by the importance of women's suffrage. It was at this moment that Brock had an epiphany, a realization of sorts. One could say that Jenny's mouth had opened Brock's third eye. His thoughts raced.

This norm is the offspring of the ideology that sex is the domain of men. One could argue that the sexual hierarchy is rooted in conventional understandings of gender roles. Certain qualities are expected of male and female counterparts; men are expected to be the sex-seekers whilst upright women are not expected to express sexual desire. Rubin describes these societal norms best: "the modern ideology of sex is that lust is the province of men, purity that of women. Women have been to some extent excluded from the modern sexual system"

Brock then took the time to think about his own sexuality.

In the case of me- Brock's, acceptable sexual expression in the world of Pokémon, the phrase "I choose you" can be construed as "I, man, choose you, woman." This is indeed the sexual norm: the male pursues and the female is pursued. The victim-predator dichotomy of men and women results from men's self-identification as "desirers and initiators of sex" and the afore-mentioned invisibility of women's sexuality. It makes so much sense now!

Just as this train of thought ended, Brock blastoisted a jar of moomoo milk into Officer Jenny's face. She wiped it off with a sleeve and grinned with a wink.

"You're free to go, Brock."


	13. Chapter Thirteen

Clarity began to return to Emmy, Max, and Ash, but only in bits and pieces. The world around them took an identifiable shape as the swirling colours ceased and the trio were left standing in the middle of a small and brightly decorated room, clearly serving as a play area for a child- children, perhaps. But despite the fact that their surroundings were once again in focus, the three were still standing in silence as their collective minds attempted to process what had just happened. All of them were staring at a spot on the floor that had previously been a bit of grass with a smashed vial lying upon it. Both of the boys were holding onto Emmy, Max with a hand on her shoulder, Ash with both hands around her bosoms. Emmy was the first to react, quickly moving out of reach of the disgusting ecchi pervert.

"What… the… FUCK just happened!?" she exclaimed, looking back and forth between her brother and the other guy, Ashley or whatever his name was.

"You broke the fucking Naloxone is what happened you dumb bitch!" screamed Ash. He lunged at Emma, and wrapped his hands around her throat. Emmy could feel his thumbs pressing in.

"You stupid woman! You killed Pikachu! My one and only friend is dead and it's all YOUR fault!" Emmy was slightly turned on by this exchange, but before she could let out a lust moan Max kicked Ash off of his slut of a sister.

"Don't you choke my sister like that, gaybo!" Ash looked up, infuriated that someone was doubting his TRUE sexuality which was straight. He liked women, he wasn't into that gay shit like Brock.

"Fuck you man, you should've just let me have the Naloxone that was RIGHTFULLY mine!"

"Stop it you two!" shouted Emmy, rubbing her throat. Max turned around to face his sister. He exhaled, hastily reaching for the ornate box sitting on the window ledge.

"I don't know where the hell you came from, but you're going back to Dragonland THIS INSTANT!"

"Fine! It looks like Pikachu didn't make it here with us, may as well go back and pay my last respects to the little shit. Gimme the fucking scale." Max opened up the case. Sitting inside was a pearlescent dragon scale, nearly identical to the one that Ash himself had found in the ocean what felt like so long ago. Max aggressively thrust it towards the Pokemon trainer, who made an angry grab for it. "What's that gay ass poem I have to say again?"

Max began to answer, but realised that he had once again forgotten how to recite it. He glanced at Emmy, who shrugged. "Hang on, I think it's written down inside the box. Give that back." Ash, still fuming, practically threw the box back to Max. This was a mistake. The shell fell from the box's casing to the hardwood floor, shattering upon impact into an uncountable number of fragments. There was a brief silence. Emmy cleared her throat.

"That was our only way into Dragonland… we've had that scale for 24 years, Ash. 24 years! We can get home without it but in order to enter the land of imagination? How… how will we ever get back?" Max slumped against the wall below the window, head in his hands.

"I need a drink." Ash's eyes widened upon realizing that he might never make his way home now.

"I mean I'm sure we can find a dragon-type expert or somet-"

"Dragons don't exist in this world, man," interrupted Max.

"..." Ash stood, fazed at this "Then how are we gonna-"

"I don't know," affirmed Emmy. "I really don't. And I do NOT want to deal with you, but we have to find a way back too, Max," she looked at her younger brother. "We need to make sure Cassie is okay, we need to help her. If there's any conceivable way to get back, we should go for it." Max cracked open a Pabst Blue Ribbon. He sighed.

"Whatever." He held the can to his lips and took a swig. Ash slumped down beside him, lost in an existential trance.

"Okay. Alright. Sure. No Dragon-types. No Pikachu. No- do you guys have naloxone in this world?"

"I mean yeah," said Max, "never had any reason to get any before so I'm not entirely sure how common or expensive it is, but I'm sure we could find some.

Ash felt a little bit of relief, but not much. He had no idea how much time Pikachu had left, and it wouldn't even matter anyway if they couldn't find a way back. The young trainer let out a groan.

Suddenly, Emmy gasped, snapping her fingers. "Wait, I just thought of something. Didn't Enrique somehow manage to get his hands on a scale? I wonder whatever happened to that."

"Who's Enrique?" asked Ash with intensity.

"My… my late boyfriend. He lived in this neighbourhood for a little while, but after he died his body was shipped back to Columbia, his home country. Finding a dragon scale was super important to him, I bet you any money that the cheating whore had it fucking buried with him."

"Well that's great!" exclaimed Ash. "All we have to do is dig up his body! How far away is Columbia, anyhow?" Emmy and Max exchanged glances.

"It's in South America, an entirely different continent," Max informed him. "We'd have to buy plane tickets and-" Emmy butted in midway.

"Okay so MAYBE we should check with his family first before we defile his grave?" Max shook his head.

"No way Emmy, that's stupid as fuck. If we straight up ask his family and then they find out that his grave has been dug up we'll be in deep shit with the Colombian authorities or worse yet, death squads." Ash nodded.

"Yeah, fuck that shit!" Emmy sighed, opening herself up to the fact that she'd have to stare into her ex's hollow eyes as he lay decomposing in his smelly latino grave.

"Fine."

Emmy closed her Nokia.

"They won't buy us plane tickets."

"What?"

"Mommy and Daddy. They won't fork over thousands for nothing."

"Fuck, I can't believe this," cursed Max. "Why do our parents have to be so fucking cheap? Emmy shrugged.

"They cited something about not being able to save up for retirement because of us."

"Fuck that shit!" cursed Max. "I swear, I've had it up to here with the old man." Max emphasized his frustration by leveling his hand out in the air.

"Then how do we get the Poké?" asked Ash.

"Poké?" the siblings asked, confused.

"You mean money?" asked Emmy.

"Uh, sure."

"Well…" Emmy's voice trailed off. Both her and Max still lived with their parents. Beyond some temporary seasonal stuff she had done back in high school, neither of them had seen a day of work in years.

"I dunno."

"I dunno either…" said Max. Ash bit his tongue. These fucking welfare cases.

"The economy in my world runs off of Pokémon battles, I don't know how it works here but you can make a mad dollar off that stuff."

"Pokémon battles?" asked Max.

"Yeah, Pokémon battles. You essentially pit two Pokémon against one another and the winner takes the loser's money! There's gotta be an equivalent to that in YOUR world, right?" Max scratched his goatee.

"Hmm…" At that precise moment, the doorbell rang.

"Oh shit, that's our folks!" whispered Emmy. "Ash, you need to hide!" The young woman grabbed him by the shoulders and frantically shoved him into a nearby closet

Ash scoughed. "Is this really necessary? You guys are like, well into your fucking twenties. My mom let me travel the world when I was ten. Can't you even have friends over?"

"Max, I'll stay here. You go get the door." Her brother nodded and left the room. There was a short silence until Ash and Emmy heard the door creak open, and then the house was filled with noise; Max and his parents greeting each other, as well as some strange inhuman shouting sound that Ash had heard several Pokemon make in the past. Wasn't it called barking?

"Oh, that's right! Rover had that vet appointment today, I was wondering why the house was so quiet. Emmy turned to speak to Ash through the closet. "Rover is our dog," she explained.

"Dog?" asked Ash, an idea already forming in his mind. It wasn't long before Max returned to the room holding a large fluffy creature and wearing an expression that showed he must have just had a very similar idea to Ash.

"Guys, are you thinking what I'm thinking?"


	14. Chapter Fourteen

The man handed Emmy a stack of twenties.

"I hope you're happy," he muttered in a gruff voice. He scratched his silver facial hair, his face shrouded by the hood that covered his head. "You've really made a killing off this business." Emmy smirked, sure of herself.

"We don't call him Red Rover for nothing," she grinned. The man sighed and disappeared back into the now-dispersing crowd. Max and Ash ran down to her from the stands. She turned to them, cash in hand. Max rubbed his hand together, eyeing the money with relief.

"Do we got enough now? As much as I have come to love hanging out at the dogfighting arena every Tuesday night for the past couple months, we really gotta get outta here!" Ash nodded in agreement.

"I'm sure Brock and Misty miss me," Ash lied to himself. Emmy flashed a sympathetic smile as she counted the bills.

"One sixty… one eighty… yeah… this should help us get one way tickets." Max gulped.

"What if there's no scale though? I don't wanna be trapped in a drug state for longer than necessary." Emmy shrugged, slipping the wad into the inside of her jacket.

"It's gotta be there. Trust me guys." Emmy sighed. She was still furious at that bitch Enrique for cheating on her, but how would she react when facing her ex-boyfriend's grave?

"Well, what are we waiting for guys? We need to buy those tickets right away!" exclaimed Ash.

Several hours later, the tickets had been purchased and Emmy, Max, and Ash had booked the cheapest tickets available for a flight to Columbia in the smallest and sketchiest looking airplane in their city's airport. The plane didn't leave until the next afternoon, but the trio decided it was best to arrive early and decided to spend the night there. In fact, the airport was where they had been sleeping over the last couple months, after Emmy and Max's parents discovered strange bruises on their dog. The group decided the safest option would be to avoid the ASPCA and finally leave home. Well, there was also the fact that their parents were concerned about the crazy homeless man living in the playroom closet, and unfortunately Max and Emmy couldn't ditch Ash at this point. So the current plan was that, after all this shit in Columbia was over, the two would move to Dragonland, permanently.

They sat down to some coffee the next morning with the little blood money they had left over from illegal dogfighting. Max stirred coffee creamer into his decaf, bags under his eyes. He hadn't gotten sleep last night and quite frankly he was certain he wasn't going to get any in economy class. He raised his eyes to greet his sister's. Emmy had been spaced out, more likely than not from visions of Enrique's oiled up torso glistening in the Californian sunlight so many years ago. She wiped her brow, a bag of mixed emotions making a murrpile onto her inexperienced body.

Ash sat down, frappuccino in hand.

"You guys ready?" The siblings nodded sleepily, barely responsive. Ash scratched his head and cleared his throat. "Right."

Attention. Passengers for flight 24, please come to gate 24. We will begin the boarding process shortly.

Emmy stood up.

"At least we packed light." Max kicked the ground.

"I wish I could bring my toys to Dragonland… I left them in the pantry back home… what a shame…"

Ash eyed Max with curiosity, but not the gay kind. The trio made their way to their respective gate, eager to get their mission underway.

Overall the flight to Columbia went pretty smoothly, save for a little bump in the middle. The pilot, who the passengers could clearly see because of the plane's open layout, and who reminded Ash uncomfortably of Captain Scallywag, flew directly into a storm that caused the shitbox of an aircraft to shake violently, almost breaking at the seams. Several hours later, however, the group touched down safely in Columbia, the world's most biodiverse country per square kilometre.

The group exited El Dorado International Airport, finally taking in the open air with gratitude. It had been a long journey, 3 hours and 24 minutes to be precise.

Max tried hailing a cab, sticking his thumb out in hopes one would pull up. To his dismay however, he was ignored. Emmy rolled her eyes.

"Max, get out of the way." Emmy unbuttoned her shirt and flashed her tits to oncoming traffic. Almost immediately, a cab pulled over to the curb, door inviting the trio in. Emmy turned to the boys.

"Progressing from the status of a nearly failed state, Colombia has made impressive strides in economic development that now places it in an enviable place in global markets. But beneath the country's rosy modernization narrative is a disturbing tale of violence against women, violations of women's rights, and entrenched gender inequity." The guys nodded in awe as she button her shirt back up, stepping into the cab. They had nothing to throw in the trunk, so they hopped right in. Ash closed the door behind them.

"Where to, my homies?" Emmy hesitated.

"Enrique's family's grave plot." The cab driver nodded knowingly.

"I know exactly where that is." The bald man put his foot on the pedal.

"Do you take US dollars?" asked Max hesitantly.

"Everywhere takes US dollars my little compadre."

The cab was pretty dirty, but otherwise well kept. It was a 2001 Volkswagen Golf GTI 2.0, and a sexy one at that. On his dashboard the driver had pictures of him and some friends in what looked like an American city.

"The name's José by the way. José Santiago Matías Sebastián Mateo Nicolás Alejandro Samuel Diego González." Ash's jaw hit the floor of the cab.

"You can call me José though." His pudgy fingers gripped the wheel of the Volkswagen, truly the people's car. The hood of his dark sweatshirt framed his broad shoulders, but his kind eyes stood out most of all. He twitched his broad nose, looking to make a left turn.

"So how long have you been a cab driver?" Asked Max.

"Well bro, not too long actually. Just came back from Olympic City, had to be behind the wheel. Did some streetracing, did some time, made friends. It was dangerous work though homie. Had to come back home here to Columbia, be with my family. Before that I was in the grave robbing business. It's pretty lucrative here in Columbia. Would not suggest it though."

The trio in the backseat looked at each other in shock at Jose's words. This was almost too good to be true; by some coincidence, fate had brought them to the one type of person that could actually help them. But should they reveal their intentions to him? The man had a strange way of talking, and they weren't entirely sure whether he was being serious or not. Emmy decided to test the waters.

"So what exactly are the steps involved in a grave robbery?" she asked, trying her best to make it sound like small talk.

"Oh, my friend, if you wanted me to explain all the precise details of the perfect robbery it could take all day. Luckily I would usually just wing it. Haven't been caught once! Not for that reason at least." Emmy nodded. It sounded like the man was being legit. She looked at the others before voicing the question they all wanted the answer to.

"We need to rob a grave. Can you help us?"

Jose took his eyes of the road to look at her, a large Hispanic grin on his face. "I knew you were kindred spirits the moment I laid eyes on you homies. Yes, of course I'll help you rob the grave! Look outside, we're almost at the plot!" he pulled the cab into the graveyard, the pavement only being wide enough to accomodate one vehicle. He slowed the GTI to a silky smooth halt. The passengers stepped out, closing the doors behind them. José popped the trunk and walked around to the back of the car. He reached to the back and pulled out some shovels.

"Get digging my homies."


	15. Chapter Fifteen

Warm water poured over the man's body from the shower head above. He squeezed his washcloth, wringing it out and hanging it over the edge of the frosted glass exterior. He ran his hands through his hair one last time, exhaling. It would be a tough day today. He turned off the faucet, and the shower spray diluted to a trickle.

Stepping out, the Columbian threw on a towel, covering his well-endowed manhood. He stepped out of the master bathroom into the bedroom, and took in the sight of what had unfolded the night prior. He opened his dresser drawers carefully, as to not wake the skank up. It had been one hell of a ride these past few weeks, and he was dealing with it emotionally through paid sex.

"What would I think of myself 24 years ago if I saw myself today," he whispered to himself. The hooker rolled over in her sleep, letting out a sigh. He slipped on his chinos, and grabbed a yellow shirt, pulling it over his dark messy hair.

He left the house, mentally preparing himself for the depressing visit he would have to commit to. The whore can show herself out, he thought to himself. It's not like he had much to steal anyway, and even if he did he could just send a death squad after her. No... there was only one real thing of any value in that house, and nobody would ever suspect that it would be worth anything anyway…

The man hadn't taken the dragon scale out of the secret compartment in his dresser drawer for many years. He didn't have any actual use for it; there was nobody in Dragon Land he cared about anymore. In fact, he wasn't even sure if his memories of the magical dimension were even real, or perhaps just a figment of his narcotic-influenced imagination. Still, he sometimes thought that it might be a nice escape from the hell he had to put himself through every day, and today he found himself thinking about it even more than usual. Today was the day he would visit his family's plot in the local cemetary to pay his respects. Today was the 24 year anniversary of his poor Mama's passing.

"God fucking damn it, I can't find his dumbass Columbian body anywhere!" Emmy shouted loudly. Sweat dripped from her forehead as she leaned against her shovel, ass poised.

"Keep it down, homie, don't want anyone to hear us. Just dig over there, he must be around here somewhere." The cab driver gazed at her butt nonchalantly while seated on the hood of his 2001 Golf GTI 2.0. There were only three shovels, so he had volunteered to sit back and watch considering he had supplied them to begin with.

"Fucking Judeo-Christian values... the fuck is with this family grave shit. Are we even in the West anymore?" muttered Ash under his breath.

"I swear to Christ, if we spent months in that fucking dogfighting ring and flew all the way out here to shithole Columbia just to find that the scale isn't even buried here, I'm gonna kill someone," complained Max. "Whose fucking bones do you think these are anyway?" He motioned to the broken pile of ribs under his feet.

"Not his, they're too big. Maybe his mom's? I don't fucking know… not like I care, anyway," sniffed Emmy, unsuccessfully hiding a tear from the others. Despite trying to convince herself otherwise, she really did miss her ex. Suddenly, a shadow appeared on the ground in front of her, falling over her glistening, sweaty, well-toned body. She turned around, expecting to see José standing there, but what she saw instead nearly gave her a heart attack. With bated breath, Emmy slowly emerged from the grave, propping herself up. She felt a sharp pain in her chest, and a phantom icyness creep over the surfaces of her body that the hands of the figure before her had caressed all those years ago. The shovel fell from her hands, landing with a rattle upon the desecrated corpses below her.

"En-Enriqué?" she stammered. The others turned around in awe. "Are… are you a ghost?"

"Fuck no!" he shouted. "Emmy, you dumb bitch, what the fuck are you doing here, tearing up my family's grave? You sick fucking psychopath, did you forget about our restraining order?" Enriqué ran at Emmy, grabbing her by the neck and throwing her down into the grave. A cracking sound ensued, bones flying in all directions.

"I thought that expired after you died, dickhead!" she choked.

""I never died fuckhole! I faked my death so that you would quit fucking following me around everywhere. Apparenltly you live above and beyond the American Justice System." Max turned to his older sister.

"Is this true?" However, Emmy could not hear him over the sounds of herself gasping for air. Enriqué pressed his thumbs into her throat, with the intent to kill. Just as Emmy reached her climax, José pulled the man off of her.

"Hombre no frio No se ahogue su exfruta sexual. Como orgulloso colombiano deberías saberlo mejor. Eres un homosexual. Mierda. Esta es la razón por la cual las faltas en el crimen son tan altas en tasas en este país de mierda."

"What did he just say?" asked Ash.

"Stop," explained Max, using his cursory knowledge of Spanish.

Enriqué thrashed, red in the face while José held him back. "Max, what the fuck are you doing in Columbia with your dumbass sister? And who the fuck are you?" he asked, turning to Ash.

"I'm Ash Ketchum! I'm a pokémon trainer," replied Ash. "We've come to use your dragon scale because these idiots broke theirs. Sorry about the grave, we really didn't mean any harm."

"Fucking queer."

Emmy began bawling, knee deep in the rot of Enriqué's family. Enriqué continued. "Give me one good reason why I shouldn't call the pigs on your ass right now?" He grimaced with nothing but sheer malice.

Emmy wiped the mud off her face with her forearm and began babbling incoherently. Max interupted her.

"We got trapped here, our scale broke. Cassie is in Dragonland and is on the verge of death, we need to get back! Since we thought you had died, we could only imagine that you were buried with the Dragon Scale. Thus our rash behvaiour." José scratched his head in confusion, letting go of a slightly cooled-down Enriqué.

"So it was all real… Cassie… yeah Cassie, the fat pink one. She's dying?" Max nodded.

"If we had known you were alive we would have just asked you but…" Enriqué sighed in response to this, unimpressed, but also in some capacity, understanding.

"I don't like any of you fucks, but I guess I should pay my respects to an old friend as well. It's been like what, 24 years?" The troop looked at him with hope in their eyes.

"Fine, fuckheads. But you're paying for the damages to the grave. Once this over, I never want to see any of you again or I'll sic the deathsquads after you faster than Emmy climaxes when I choke her." They drew a sigh of relief.

"Thank you Enriqué," affirmed Max.

"Yes, thank you," repeated Ash.

"I have no idea what is going on here homies, but I kind of want to tag along. See the world, you know? Count me in!" laughed José.

"Alright, the scale is back at my place," said Enriqué. "If it's really as bad as you say, we better get going."

The small group, now a total of five, arrived at Enriqué's pad. The hooker from last night was gone, along with several pieces of 99-cent store silverware. Enriqué made a beeline for his dresser, pausing momentarily to kiss his infant son on the forehead. Pushing on the hidden button beneath his sock drawer, he opened the secret compartment and retrieved the scale.

"Alright everyone, hold on to this." Everyone grabbed ahold without question, even José.

"Who wants to do the honours?" asked Max. There was no response. He sighed.

"I wish, I wish,

With all my heart,

To fly with Dragons,

In a land apart."


	16. Chapter Sixteen

As the swirling colours abated and a more coherent landscape came into view, the troop found themselves back in front of Zak and Wheezie's home, the Knuckerhole. Enriqué gazed around in awe.

"It was real. It was all real," he whispered to himself. "All those adventures, all those friendships, all those nights spent getting shitfaced with the twins!" The Columbian could not believe his eyes.

"Yeah, no fucking shit, douchebag," Max sighed. For him, this came as no surprise. He had never stopped going to Dragonland since he was four years old, and was even planning to live there from now on.

"Alright, it's time to save Pikachu and that ugly pink thing," said Ash, rubbing his hands together. "Now who was it who had the Naloxone again?" Silence. Ash was at the front of the group raring to go, but now he couldn't bring himself to look back. He knew before the words had finished leaving his mouth what the answer to that question was. But Emmy replied anyway.

"We… we never actually got anymore Naloxone Ash… we were too preoccupied with getting that scale…" The silence continued. Wind whistled through the trees.

"What… the… fuck… is wrong with you people!" But before Ash could turn around and strangle Emmy's neck seductively, they were met by the frantic cries of their peers.

"Max, Emmy… Enriqué?!" A confused Ord stood before them, bible in hand.

"Where's Cassie?" demanded Emmy. Ord fell silent, hands folded in front of him.

"Emmy, our friend Cassie… our friend Cassie has passed on into the arms of our lord and saviour, Jesus Christ." Ord's words were met with a resounding silence.

"She's… dead…?" Ord nodded in grief.

"You were gone for so long. Without medical treatment, both her and Ash's companion couldn't possibly make it. But it's okay. It's alright. It was part of God's plan." Emmy fell to her knees, breaking down once again. Max put a hand on his sister's shoulder to console her. Ash kicked the ground, pissed. Enriqué cleared his throat.

"How long have they been dead for?" he asked.

"They died like, the day after you left," responded Ord to the group. "It's been a month. We were just about to commence the memorial service." The blue dragon held his hand up to the Knuckerhole, inviting the heathens in. They followed his suggestion wearily, a sense of intrusiveness protruding their thoughts. The group entered the home, José in tow. Zak and Wheezie had decorated the place, and seats were set up in a pew-like fashion. Everyone was there. Dr. Booboogone, Mr. Scallywag, Nigel and his Beaverdragons, Lorca, even Cassie's now older siblings, Kiki and Finn. The group seated themselves in the front, stricken with a newfound grief. Music began to play, a beautiful classical rendition of '_Shape Of You' _by Ed Sheeran. Emmy wiped a tear touched, knowing that this was Cassie's favourite song to listen to after a night of intense binge eating. The funeral procession commenced, Cassie's extra large casket being carried to the front of the room. Behind her, a Beaverdragon carried a shoebox with what was presumed to be Pikachu's lifeless body inside. It was a closed casket funeral, as it had been over a month since they had both passed. Ord stepped up to the podium, reading glasses balanced on his snout. The blue dragon cleared his throat piously.

"We are here today to honour the lives of Cassie and Pikachu, may they rest in peace. As the lord hath said in Matthew 5:44:

'But I say to you, Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, so that you may be sons of your Father who is in heaven; for he makes his sun rise on the evil and on the good, and sends rain on the just and on the unjust.'"

Ord paused, flipping a page of his bible. He opened his mouth, eyes darting up to the funeralgoers before him.

"Psalm 28:7:

'The Lord is my strength and my shield;

my heart trusts in him, and he helps me.

My heart leaps for joy,

and with my song I praise him.'"

Ord then continued to lead the group in saying the Lord's prayer.

"Our Father, who art in Heaven

Hallowed be thy name

Thy Kingdom come, thy will be done

On Earth, as it is in Heaven

Give us this day our daily bread

And forgive us our trespasses

As we forgive those who trespass against us

And lead us not into temptation

But deliver us from evil

For thine is the Kingdom

The Power and the Glory

Forever and ever

Amen,"

"Might we have some words from the friends of the deceased on this beautiful Wednesday afternoon?" asked Ord in gentle voice. A warm breeze wafted through the open door of the Knuckerhole. Birds sounded behind those seated. It was a gorgeous day. Emmy could feel Cassie's soul inside of her. She wiped a tear from her eye, touched at both the moment in and of itself, as well as the utter eloquence of Ord's religious leadership. She stood up.

"Could I maybe say a few words?" Ord nodded, motioning for her to come forward. With shaky legs, Emmy made her way to the front of the room. She turned to her peers, eyes red but heart strong. She licked her lips, her mouth quivering. She opened it.

"I'm very grateful to see you all gathered here today. I know how much all of you meant to Cassie. She always believed in the power of love and friendship, and the fact that you've come to celebrate her life with us confirms everything she stood for. Even when she was beaten," (Emmy's eyes flicked momentarily to Ord, Zak, and Wheezie), "...and essentially murdered," (a quick glance at Booboogone), "...by her peers, her heart knew nothing but forgiveness." Tears began flowing unabashedly from her eyes. "Cassie was a best friend, a sister, a daughter, a lover… a GREAT lover..." Emmy added. The audience made quiet disgusted sounds in response to Emmy showcasing her blatant lesbianism. "...but most importantly, Cassie was there for us, ALL of us. Through thick and thin, through trying times, and we will NEVER be able to replace her. I am just glad that we had the opportunity to experience her, appreciate her, and love her, just as we love one another." Emmy let out a sniff. "I know she's in a better place now. We love you Cassie, we really do…" Emmy started sobbing once again. Max ran to the front of the room and guided his sister back to her seat, José offering her a tissue. Ord returned to the stage.

"Thank you Cassie, that was a beautiful speech." He turned to Ash, who was slouched over, busy checking his phone.

"Would you like to say some words about your pet?" Ash rolled his eyes and got up, squeezing past the people in his row.

"Ugh, okay what do I even say…" he adjusted his microphone, feedback emitting through the speakers. Ash wiped his nose, lost for words.

"Just say something nice," Ord encouraged. Ash cleared his throat.

"Okay, here goes. I won't be the person to deny that Pikachu had this coming. He could be lazy, irresponsible, vastly inferior to my other Pokémon, and generally just a pain in the ass, but…" Ash was surprised to find that his eyes had suddenly become moist. Was he actually having a gay emotional reaction to this? He pressed on. "...he was my best friend. I know that most of you seated here have never actually had the pleasure of meeting Pikachu. You're probably all just here for that other dead guy that Emmy was talking about. But I want you all to know that despite his flaws… his _many _flaws… Pikachu was an okay guy. I'm sure he enjoyed his life about as much as any of my Pokémon (besides Dragonite) possibly could, and I truly hope he's having a good time in that great gym in the sky. That is, if animals actually have souls." Ash glanced up at Ord, seeking approval. The blue dragon just shook his head silently. "Oh, well, he had a good run then I guess. Thank you all." He returned to his seat. Ord stepped up to the front one final time.

"Please join us in singing the Hymn from page 24 in your songbooks."

* * *

The sun was setting off in the distance as Ash stood staring down at the little gravestone marking the site of Pikachu's final resting place. He had never wanted this. He thought back on all the times he had spent with Pikachu, and for the first time he began to see his abusive actions in a new light. How could the Pokémon have let Ash treat him that way? Stupid Pikachu. Now he would never have a chance to make up for it. Rage flowed through his veins. "I'm gonna avenge you, buddy," he whispered to himself. But avenge him for what? This whole adventure was a coincidence, wasn't it? It's not like someone had set him up to find that scale or anything, right? But someone was going to pay for what happened to Pikachu, whether they liked it or not.

Emmy and Max appeared at his shoulder, moving over from where Cassie was now buried. "What will you do now?" asked Emmy. "Head back home to Kanto or wherever you said you were from?"

"I… I guess. I don't really know what to do. All I know is that Pikachu couldn't have died in vain. There… there has to be some reason for it all!"

"Ash, you just have to accept that not everything has to have been someone else's fault. This was just the will of God. How did Pikachu end up in that coma anyway?"

Ash broke down in tears.


	17. Chapter Seventeen

The journey back from Dragonland was a solemn one. After the funeral Ash had spent a considerable amount of time to himself, mostly wandering around the countryside of Dragonland with his head down, mute. This was quite a change from his typical bombastic attitude, and Emmy and Max were feeling very concerned about this character who against all odds became their friend. Emmy wasn't even sure why he was so upset about that rat thing anyway, as he had given plenty of verbal dissent on the creature in the weeks leading up to the funeral. She didn't know what to make of Ash's new demeanour, whether to offer him comfort, grieve alongside him, or leave him to his own devices. Ultimately she sat around feeling useless. At one point upon the start of Ash's daily lap of Dragonland, Emmy was approached by José.

"Hey my little cariño, are you feeling any better with your grief?" Emmy nodded her head, eyes on Ash setting out from the Knuckerhole.

"I don't know to be completely honest with you… but I suppose that's grief for you…" José nodded his head quietly, in deep contemplation.

"And what do you think of our little hombre Ash right now? How do you think he is doing, man?" Emmy sighed, eyes cast aside.

"I don't know. Even Max has been asking about him, but obviously I wouldn't know any better. Although we've bonded over these past several weeks, he's still extremely foreign to our realities as we know them, eh?" José shook his head.

"I getchu homie." The twins came out of the bathroom, towel wrapped around their waist.

"What's even left for him here in Dragonland? I don't know about his situation back home but, shouldn't he return to his friends?"

"His amigos?"

"No you fucking Mexican, his friends!" Emmy said racistly, as she swat José on the arm for being foolish. The Columbian rolled his eyes.

"He needs to go back home. To his friends. To his familia, his family!"

"That's exactly what I'm saying."

"Then talk to him, homie! Better to hear it from you than me, he trusts you now, you know?" Emmy decided he was probably right, although it seemed impossible that anyone could distrust José.

"Okay. I'll try and talk some sense into him."

* * *

It took a while to find Ash, but Emmy eventually found him sitting on the shore, overlooking Dragoon Lagoon. She took a seat in the grass beside him. He rest still, making no attempt to acknowledge her presence. She said nothing at first. She only wanted him to talk unprompted, when he was comfortable. Eventually, Ash broke the silence.

"This was where he went into the coma. I… _he _fell into the water when we weren't looking. It was a miracle he was even still alive when we found him."

Emmy took a breath. Ash was clearly fighting an inner battle with himself on how to word these things, but it hardly seemed appropriate for the moment. She didn't want to upset him even more. "I've been thinking, Ash. It's been a week since the funeral and you're still moping around Dragonland. Not that I want you to leave or anything," she splurted defensively as he looked up, "...but this can't be good for you. Don't you want to get back to Kanto, see your friends and stuff? hey should probably know about Pikachu as well…" Emmy trailed off, realizing it may not have been wise to bring up the rodent's name. Ash gulped, a shadow cast over his face by his ballcap, obscuring his expression. A further moment of silence ensued, only finally being broken by Ash getting up.

"You're right. They need me back home in Kanto. Who else is gonna eat Brock's food? I mean, Misty probably, but we don't need her getting any fatter than she currently is," Ash turned to Emmy, tilting his head up. A weak smile dotted his face.

"Thank you Emmy. Really."

* * *

The group gathered around to say their goodbyes. Ash scratched his arm as Max stepped forward.

"Well, this is it buddy," said Max shyly. "We had a good run, and made some great money off of that dog fighting ring." Ash nodded. The two hugged, clearly emotional, but not gay. Enriqué tapped Ash on the shoulder as he embraced his new fr

"Hey man, I know we haven't known each other for too long, but good luck out there. I know how alienating interdimensional travel can be on a person. You'll make it out of here just fine," he said. His fellow countryman stepped in.

"I believe in you hombre!" José was followed by each of the dragons, Ord, Zak and Wheezie. Ash made sure to hug them all for the first and last time.

"Well, I'd say I'd miss all of you, but I'd be lying," said Ash, implying that there were one or two people of the bunch that he secretly hated. He then recited the rhyme, leaving them to guess as to who the fuck he was throwing shade at.

_I wish,_

_I wish,_

_To use this rhyme,_

_To go back home,_

_Until next time_

The now familiar rays of light engulfed Ash, and in the blink of an eye, he was gone.

* * *

Blinking furiously in the bright sunlight, Ash waited for his senses to reaccustom themselves to their surroundings. As his vision cleared, he realized that he had returned to that very same beach on Cinnabar Island, in the exact spot that he had stood well more than a month prior. He reached absentmindedly into the bottom part of his backpack where he kept his empty candy wrappers and occupied Pokéballs, and his heart sank even more when he was reminded that there was only one left. He removed it and carelessly mumbled "Dragonite, I choose you, or whatever." The orange dragon-type (not just a dragon; Ash now knew that there was a difference) appeared and nuzzled Ash on the neck. "I know buddy, I know. We're home." The young trainer turned around to find his way back to where the campsite was presumably still located and saw something that hadn't been on the beach before he had left; a monument built on a stone foundation. Curious, he went over to investigate. Inscribed upon a plaque were these words:

_On the tenth day of the seventh month in the year 20XX of our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ, renowned scientists Professor Demetrius A. Butternut and his colleague and partner Phineas P. Fig Tree were shot to death by an unknown gunman on this very site where you stand. This monument has been erected in their honour. May they rest in peace._

Ash felt a hot rage sweep over him. "Why is everyone fucking dead!?" Horrible thoughts raced through his mind. "I need to find Brock and Misty quickly before they fall into a goddamn volcano or something." As he started up the path away from the beach, he heard a voice calling out to him.

"Hey, you there!" Ash turned and saw a lone police officer standing under the shade of a pecha berry tree.

"Oh fuck!" shouted Ash loudly in a very incriminating manner. He booted it in the opposite direction.

"Wait, I just want to talk to y-"

"You'll never take me alive, copper!" Ash cried, his pace now at a full gallop. The officer stood stunned for a few seconds, before reaching for her taser.

"I guess it's gonna be one of those days," she sighed, before giving chase to the young delinquent.

"Oh fuck oh fuck oh fuck-" panted Ash under his breath, arms pumping at his sides harder than a Viridian City woman giving a free handy behind the Pokémart. He wasn't even sure why he was running, but once he started it was far too late for him to stop. He bolted across the beach, not even bothering to look back to see what happened to Dragonite. He had made it a whole twenty metres before he finally ran out of breath and stopped to take a break, surely he had put enough distance between him and the officer at this point. Before he could take off again however, Ash felt a sharp pain in his side. He collapsed on the beach, body convulsing violently like a hooker on the pavement of a Pewter City sidewalk in the dead of winter. He looked up to see the womanly shape of the cop whipping out a pair of handcuffs. All the blood left Ash's head, his eyes rolling back.

_Ash blacked out._


	18. Chapter Eighteen

The first thing Ash noticed as he gathered his senses was something cold and hard pressed against his face. Or, rather, that his _face _had been pressed against something cold and hard. Opening his eyes, the young trainer was greeted with a sideways view of a small, dark room. His head was resting on a metal table. He slowly began to lift it up.

"Wha- what the fuck?" he muttered groggily. The young man was handcuffed in what appeared upon further inspection to be an interrogation room. Dazed and confused, Ash struggled against his restraints, to no avail. Before he could fully collect his thoughts however, the door to the room opened, a familiar officer standing at the frame.

"Ash Ketchum?" her sultry voice asked. It rang in Ashes ears like a million Rapidash galloping over the great plains of Kanto on a warm August evening. Ash inhaled an icy coolness as he stared at the officer's bare legs.

"Yes," confirmed Ash, oblivious that he had not been read his miranda rights.

"I'd like to ask you a few questions," the green haired cop sat down across from him, primping her hair in a provocative fashion. She folded her legs to the side, pen at hand, staring at the clipboard held firmly against her chest. She looked back up at Ash. "Alright?" Ash nodded, mouth open. "Okay," she flipped the first page of the document. "...first off, we should probably just get this out of the way: why did you run away from me like a dumbass?" Ash gulped, beads of sweat forming on his temple.

"Well uh, I just kinda wanted to feel a sense of importance! Nothing seems more important than sticking it to the man… er… woman!" Ash winked at the lady cop. "And I have to say miss, it was certainly an honour to be caught by you!" Ash licked his lips as the officer visibly cringed.

"Uhm, alright…" the green haired beauty began scribbling away at her clipboard.

"By the way," the cop looked up. "What's your name, gorgeous?" She exhaled, impatiently.

"My name is Officer Jenny. I'm the police chief here on Cinnabar Island."

"Can I call you Jenny?

"No," said Jenny flatly. Ash smiled. Jenny had such a way with words. "Okay, next question. Where have you been for the past month, particularly on the tenth of July?" The tenth of July? Why did that date sound familiar?

"Oh, that's easy! I was having magical adventures in Dragonland! It's a place full of joy and happiness, and you can only get there by reciting nursery rhymes!"

Jenny looked up from the clipboard, an unimpressed look on her face. "Look, you're not actually being held for any crime at the moment, so there's no need for this bullcrap. You don't need to fake insanity or anything kid, just cut the crap and give me a damn answer."

Ash thought for a minute about how he could word this properly, in terms that Jenny could understand. "I was, uh, I was visiting a friend in another region. Her dragon-type had fallen ill, and we were looking for a cure." At this, Jenny looked up with genuine concern.

"Oh, I'm sorry to hear that. How is the pokémon now?"

"Well, she's, uh, she fainted. She's not with us anymore."

Jenny shook her head sadly. "That's very unfortunate, my condolences. If you don't mind me asking, what kind of a dragon-type was she?"

"Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhh… she was pink?

Jenny frowned "Well I've worked closely with Lance from the Elite Four before… there definitely aren't any pink dragon-type Pokémon so…" she eyed Ash with a mild look of disdain.

"I mean pinkish orange. She was orange. She was a charizard. Sorry, brain fart." Jenny nodded, doubtful.

"I see. Well, if you say you were nowhere nearby on July tenth, I guess I can let you back out to your friends, they've certainly been worried sick about y-" Jenny was interrupted by the opening of the door to the interrogation room. An older male officer bearing a striking set of aviators peered in.

"Officer Jenny, may I speak to you for a minute please?" he asked in a gruff voice.

"Yes, of course," Jenny replied before turning to Ash. "Wait here one moment, Ketchum." She followed the broad shouldered constable out of the room. Ash was left in silence for a minute. He sat staring at the ceiling, the image of Jenny swimming in his head. Just as he began to reach for his crotch, the door burst open.

"Ash Ketchum you motherfucker! You realize this is a one-way mirror, right?" Jenny looked back at what was supposedly her colleague, only to turn to Ash once again. "Also, we've just discovered that your fingerprints match the ones taken from an m1911 single-action, semi-automatic handgun found at the scene of the murder of beloved gay Professors Butternut and Fig Tree." The male officer's head poked up from above.

"You're going in the clink, buddy."

* * *

Ash wiped the tears from his eyes. _Him? Murder?_ That was unheard of. He hadn't caused anyone's untimely demise, had he? His mind briefly flashed to thoughts of his late Pikachu.

"..." said Ash. He stared at the sink of his tiny holding cell. It had only be a few hours since he had been locked up in here, in what had felt like days. The clattering of the cell door could be heard, it opened up, the male officer appearing before him.

"You requested a state lawyer Ketchum?" the cop stroked his handlebar moustache.

"I did?"

"You did when you were thrashing about screaming in the interrogation room," the officer splayed his hands in the air, mimicking Ash's unpersuasive violent outburst. A slim man stepped out from behind the cop.

"Thanks Ernie. I can take over from here." The cop stepped aside, letting the lawyer in. Ash's lawyer looked fresh out of law school, with wavy caramel hair and a blue pinstripe suit. Glasses sat framed on his hook nose, and his red tie contrasted nicely with his amber eyes. He set down his briefcase by the cell door and took a seat on the bench across from Ash.

"Ash Ketchum. Pallet Town. Accused of a double homicide, first degree murder against Professor Demetrius Butternut and Phineas Fig Tree. My name is Nigel Gillan." Nigel extended a hand to the suspected murderer. "I'll be the representative overseeing your case."

"No. I won't speak to you. Hmph." Ash replied stubbornly, folding his arms in a huff.

Nigel bent down to get eye level with Ash, as a father would to his son. "Look buddy, this is a serious offence. If you really want to get through this, we're gonna need to cooperate, okay? Alright, bud?"

Ash sighed, waving his hand dismissively. "I won't speak unless I have a friend here with me. How about Brock? Somebody get me Brock."

And so the two sat in silence, Ash still with his arms folded, avoiding Nigel's gaze. Finally, the male officer whom the lawyer had referred to as Ernie appeared.

"We couldn't find anyone nearby with the name Brock, but your friend Misty was more than eager to see you," he said, opening the cell door and allowing a petite redhead to enter. Ash's heart sank a bit, but he supposed Misty was better than nothing.

"Ash! Oh my god, where have you been?! We've been worried sick! And what's with this whole murder thing, that's a little weird, isn't it?" Misty practically flung herself at Ash, embracing him. Ash cringed. "It can't be true, I know it can't. Brooke doesn't seem to think so, but I'm sure you'd never do such a thing."

Ash was about to thank her for her support, but then stopped, confused. Who the hell was Brooke? He pushed Misty off of him.

"Ew. Misty. Bad." Misty rolled her eyes.

"I'm really glad you asked for me," she smiled nervously. "It means a lot knowing that I'm the first person you'd come to in such a dire hour." Before Ash could correct her, his lawyer interrupted.

"Should we get down to business?"

* * *

Ernie opened the door to the break room, exhausted. _Only a few more hours until I can get home to the wife and kids, _he thought to himself. He threw on a pot of coffee and slunked back into the break room couch. The cop let out a sigh.

"Constable MacGregor," a warm feminine voice rang. Ernie looked up to see his colleague and boss, Jenny, before him.

"Officer Jenny."

"What do you think of the Ketchum case?"

The seasoned cop twiddled his moustache.

"We don't get many murders around these parts, that's for sure. I really don't know. But evidence is evidence, isn't it? If I had my way as judge, jury and executioner, he'd be swimming with Giratina right about now."

"That's a little excessive, don't you think?"

Ernie shrugged. "Maybe, maybe not. One thing I do know is that we lost two respected members of Cinnabar's prominent queer community, and as a gay cop of colour I won't rest easy until justice is dealt." Jenny raised her eyebrows.

"I didn't know you were gay." Ernie spit out the coffee he was drinking.

"I'm bi."

"Oh," exhaled Jenny. "Thank God."

Ernie squinted at her. "'Thank God?' With all due respect Officer, what the hell is that supposed to mean?" Jenny cracked a grin.

"I was worried I'd never get some alone time with you, big boy." Ernie's jaw dropped as Jenny began to strip before him, closing the blinds that enclosed the break room.

"Jenny, I'm a married man. You've met Karen at the Christmas party!"

"Fuck Karen, Ernie. But more importantly, _fuck me_..." Jenny cooed, positioning herself on top of the male officer's lap. She began to grind against his thigh like the tectonic plates which brought tsunamis to the island population. Jenny began to moan like a horsea. Ernie blushed, looking away, though not indicating any wish for her to stop. Jenny moaned louder, like a swarm of beedrill from a disturbed hive. She quickly unbuckled MacGregor's pants, eagerly grabbing his pokéballs with her slender digits. The constable wheezed, unable to contain his gyarados, which shot erect, excited by the female officer's touch.

"Ungh, you like that? Huh? You like that Ernie?" Ernie moaned her name, ecstatic. The pair got down on the floor, Ernie now determined to make his colleague squirtle. He grabbed Jenny's jigglypuffs and began ramming her harder than a Pokémon using Harden. After what seemed like hours of impassioned love making, MacGregor came inside of his partner, her responding in tandem with her own wet discharge of moomoomilk. The pair collapsed on the floor, chests heaving. Ernie covered his face with his hand.

"Karen…"


	19. Chapter Nineteen

The young woman brushed her hair behind her ear. She couldn't believe the news. After all this time, all these months of traveling Kanto, it had been him. It had been him all along. Ash Ketchum was the murderer. Who knew? She had no idea that the little shithead had the capacity for murder, save for something along the likes of manslaughter or criminal negligence, but the double murder sounded very deliberate, at least from what the cops told them.

She had been driven in circles for the past 24 hours, rounding the exterior of the island, trying, in vain, to collect her thoughts. She needed to reconcile, to come to terms with what had happened. This wasn't grief per se, but it was a sickly feeling, unreal, one that she knew she wouldn't be able to shake off with time.

"I have to go there," she declared aloud. The young woman's pace picked up as she made her way from the heart of Cinnabar Island into the downtown. _The Pokémon Lab._ Where those two gay professors worked before their untimely deaths. _I have to go there, maybe send my condolences? I don't know… _It wasn't like she really knew these people. She didn't even know their names until after their demise. Maybe it was their mutual connection to the LGBTQ+ community? She wasn't sure, but she would never know until she visited that lab.

She was still deep in her thoughts when she arrived at the door. Shaking herself back into reality, she pushed it open and stepped into the cool air of the lobby. The lights were off. It was deserted. Not even the receptionist was at her desk, which was rather unusual for a government facility during regular business hours. The young woman used to spy on the sensual form of the front desk lady before she had been awoken to the wisdom and teachings of queer feminist theory, so she was very well attuned with the bimbo's work schedule. She placed one foot in front of the other, making her way down the empty tiled hall, footsteps echoing in an isolated, almost eerie fashion. By the time she made it to the end of the first hallway, a glimmer of light caught her eye. To her left lay a staircase to the second floor of the facility, where a distinct hum of machinery could be heard. _I wonder if that was the professor's old lab, _thought the girl. _But more importantly, what in the goddamn fuckery is going on up there? _She slowly crept up the stairs, careful not to make a sound. As she reached the top she began to peer into the room at the top of the staircase. _Room 210…_

She gasped. Strewn out in front of her lay a kaleidoscope of machinery, many with interfaces that glowed a futuristic green-blue light. It was unlike anything she had ever seen before, in person or on TV. This was not standard lab equipment intended for pokémon research, this was some Philip K. Dick level shit. The young woman took a few hesitant steps into the room, eyeing the futuristic machinery in a questioning light. Whatever project they were working on _had_ to have millions of dollars in funding. What was this? A secret military project, on Cinnabar island nonetheless? Before she could investigate the girl heard footsteps rounding the corner from the other side of the lab. Scrambling, she slid into a side closet, hiding herself from view. If this were a project of such grand scale, she wouldn't dare be caught at the risk of going to jail.

_That might mean sharing a cell with Ash_ she thought, worried. She held her breath as the footsteps grew nearer stopping almost directly outside of the hiding place. She heard a very familiar voice echo through the room.

"No, it should be ready by the end of the week." A pause. The voice continued.

"Yes, do you need me to run through it one last time, for clarity's sake?" She could hear an annoyance in the distinctly female voice. Clearly whoever this was, they were in the middle of an intensely important phone conversation. The young woman bit her lip.

"Yes, the child slave shipment has already been secured, so our Johto facility should be fine. As far as this particular project is concerned, we don't have to worry about securing the pokemon lab. As you know, I had those professors killed myself. Did it with my own bare hands. Well, with a gun but, y'know…" her voice trailed off.

"Yes, a m1911 single action, semi-automatic handgun." she said irritably.

"Yes." Although the voice on the other end of the line was nearly indecipherable, the girl made out some words angrily muttered over graduate school.

"Anyway lardass, these bozos have been working on facilitating the creation of a transdimensional amplifier. You know those scales we've been using to transport to Dragonland? To extract natural resources? Well the boss says that our shareholders are unimpressed with our efficiency. We have to jack up the speed of production. And how do we do that?"

"No fuckface, we exploit free labour from the native population!" She paused to let her conversation partner speak.

"I don't care if it sounds like that shitty James Cameron film. That's not the point."

"With this device, we can expand upon our current small-scale adventure. We can send not only droves of our own specialists across different dimensions using the amplifier, we can send our troops to squash those filthy scalies," her voice cracked into a grin. The young woman covered her mouth, trying to contain her shock.

"And yes, it's best we start with Dragonland. They are little more than a band of savage animals, lesbians and crooked doctors alike. I heard they're a socialist country too." As the conversation winded down, the figure could be heard turning, making her way back from whence she came. The girl let out a shaky breath and looked away from the closet door, right into the empty sockets of an Eevee skull. She screamed, realizing it was probably just a specimen that the professors had been keeping for research or sexual purposes far too late. The footsteps returned, faster than before. The closet door yanked open.

Standing in the entryway to the closet was the receptionist.

* * *

Ernie took a sip from his coffee. He had just gotten home from a long day at the station. Washing his hands and changing into more casual attire, he made his way to the kitchen. Being a cop, Ernie understood the position of power that came with such a career, and the dangers if he were to abuse it.

"There is no such thing as a good cop," Ernie repeated to himself as he looked up to the Socialist Action poster hung over the computer desk in their kitchen. What irony he found himself caught into. An anarchist cop. Unheard of, and unliked by both sides. In order to function, MacGregor kept his political views largely to himself.

"40% of all cops beat their wives," Ernie continued, echoing these statistics in his brain. He got out some cookware, and began to sautée some magikarp on a skillet. Although ironic because he was a cop, Ernie tried to recognize the patriarchy in its rawest form. As a fundamental, the first step of action in restoring a sense of justice in his heteronormative marriage was to equally distribute both childrearing and household duties between him and his spouse. Ernie sprinkled some quick powder and dried oran berry onto the Magikarp, followed by dill and cayenne. He had been trying to improve his cooking skills after reading some posts on Instagram accusing white people of cooking horribly bland food. Of course, Ernie knew that these things were only trivial in the larger scheme of things, especially his cooking habits. What was important was intersectionality and solidarity with others. Before he could flip the fish Pokémon over, his wife came into the room.

"You're late again today, Ern," said Karen sternly. As of late, Ernie's wife had become increasingly suspicious of his activities away from the household. At first, the cop had found this annoying and highly unjustified, but after yesterday…

"Oh, uh, yes my dear, this Ketchum case is proving to be quite the nuisance. I have to tell you, I've come across a lot of idiots in my career, but this kid… this kid might actually be the dumbest person I've ever met." Karen didn't respond, opting instead to set the table in a strangle aloof manner. MacGregor cleared his throat. "Um, Karen, you're being awfully quiet tod-"

"How's Jenny doing?" she interrupted, turning to face her husband. To Ernie's dismay, a single tear was streaming down her cheek. She knew. God fucking damn it, she knew.

"Karen, honey, what do you-"

"'Fuck Karen? More importantly, _fuck me?' _that bitch really has a way with words," she laughed sarcastically, clearly hysterical.

"But how did you-"

"You butt-dialled me, '_big boy'._ You cheating piece of shit. All these years of marriage and two kids later and you do _this_ to me? You throw it all away?! And for what? Some green haired bimbo?!

"Karen, that language is kind of sexis-"

"Fuck the patriarchy Ernie, but more importantly, fuck YOU!" Karen slapped Ernie in the face with a splayed hand, hurting worse than a Mr. Mime using double slap. Ernie touched his now red cheek with his fingers, checking for blood.

"Karen-"

"No Ernie. No I'm done. I'm taking the kids."

* * *

"You?!" exclaimed the girl, currently staring at the Pokémon lab's receptionist who was currently sporting an intense expression and a Naruto hoodie.

"Who the fuck are you?" replied the receptionist, "And how much did you hear? Talk fast, because I will have no regrets about killing you right where you stand, right here, right now." She pulled a gun to the girl's face. "Your choice."

"Not much, I swear! Just a bit about your entire plan for interdimensional conquest and some sort of child-slave shipment. But that's it! Please don't hurt me," the young woman begged.

"I'm sorry, but you've heard too much. I have no choice. Also, I'm not actually sorry. I can't risk any more people spilling my secrets, especially not after that Ketchum kid managed to escape from Dragonland." she spat on the ground unattractively, killing the girl's boner.

"Ketchum? Ash Ketchum?" The receptionist cocked an eyebrow, bemused.

"You know him?"

"Yeah, I've been travelling with the little shit ever since he was 10 years old. What has he done to you?"

"Besides blatantly staring at my chest when he speaks to me? He now carries with him important information about an alternate dimension, something I really don't want in the hands of the public. I'm going to have to take care of him, shortly after I'm finished with you, that is."

The girl began to panic. "Wait! I can bring him to you! Let me go, and I'll make it worth your time. I hate him as much as you do!"

The receptionist lowered her gun slightly. "Hmph." she paused. "It's a tempting offer. My original plan was to seduce him. It'd be easy, knowing how much of a pervert he is, but your way is much less embarrassing for me." She paused again, staring blankly at her adversary's trembling form. "Alright." the receptionist holstered here pistol. "I'll let you go- what was your name again?"

"Brooke" replied the girl nervously.

"Agent Kinsley." replied the receptionist. "I'll let you go, Brooke, but I'm giving you no more than 24 hours to bring Ash Ketchum to my doorstep. Do we have a deal?" She extended her hand. Brooke hesitated, eventually reaching out to shake it.

"Deal."


	20. Chapter Twenty

"Ketchum, you have a visitor," growled an emotionally unstable Constable MacGregor. A click of a lock could be heard, the heavy cell door sliding open. The now grizzled trainer looked up in surprise. Misty had already been here once today, was that clingy bitch back for seconds?

"I'm not taking visitors right now," affirmed Ash, wearily.

"Are you sure?" asked MacGregor. He stepped aside, letting a young girl come into view. Ash's jaw dropped.

"Brock?!" questioned Ash, dumbfounded, unsure what to make of his friend's new appearance.

"Brooke," corrected the young woman.

"You're a transgender?"

"Yes Ash, I'm trans." Ash couldn't believe this. All these years with his traveling companion and he hadn't a single clue. All this time Ash had just assumed Brooke was the poster child for a womanizing cishet male, but maybe Brooke's fascination with the female body had been the result of something else this entire time. Ash shook his head, still in a daze.

"You're... Brooke now?"

"Yes, I would prefer that you call me Brooke," repeated Brooke irritably. She could sense Ash's mind turning inside out.

"So like, do you still have a…?" Ash's eyes darted to Brooke's crotch. Brooke rolled her eyes.

"That's none of your business Ash Ketchum. I don't appreciate your attitude nor this line of questioning." Ash sighed. "However," Brooke paused. "I have something really important I have to share with you."

"You came to jail to tell me you're a girl now?" asked Ash, baffled.

"Ye- what? NO! For fuck's sake Ash!" Brooke whispered, as to not alert the cop. "You little Weavile! I was visiting the Pokémon Lab today, and I came across proof of your innocence!"

"Are you wearing a bra right now?" asked Ash inappropriately.

"Ash, you don't get it. You're innocent! You didn't murder those professors. It was this woman, Kinsley. That hot receptionist that worked the front desk at the Lab!" Ash raised his eyebrows.

"Wait, the one with the big tits?" Brooke nodded her head.

"Yeah, that one. I snuck upstairs there and she was in the lab babbling on her phone about some sort of transdimensional amplifier thing? I know this all sounds crazy, but she mentioned something about 'invading alternate dimensions', including some place called 'Dragon World'?"

"Dragonland?"

"Yeah that's it exactly!" Brooke chimed, snapping her fingers. "So wait... you actually traveled between dimensions?" Ash nodded.

"I sure did. In fact, Dragonland is where I was this whole time! Well, that and ANOTHER dimension. So, do you still like women?" Brooke grabbed Ash by the shoulders and shook him.

"Ash! This is important!" The girl lowered her voice. "Look, this Kinsley woman seems to be an agent for some sort of cross-dimensional organization. She said she wants to meet with you, alone? I didn't know what to do other than tell you. I don't know if she wants you dead or-"

"That's pretty hot," said Ash.

"That's not the point!" yelled Brooke. "Your life might be on the line Ash! And the lives and welfare of many others!" she lowered her voice. "We need to stop them, every single one of us could be in danger! We need to get you out of here and there's no time to wait around for the justice system to do its job. There's simply too much on the line!" Ash looked up to the ceiling of his cell, giving a considerable amount of thought.

"So does this make you gay?"

* * *

MacGregor stood rubbing his head and waiting outside Ash's cell as the latter conversed with his visitor. He currently had the worst hangover of his life, but this didn't stop him from coming to work and doing his duty for his country. Well, it didn't stop him from showing up at least, the rest was questionable. He couldn't focus on anything without squinting in pain, the consequence of staying late at the bar last night and downing copious amounts of Mike's Hard Cheri Berry Juice. He couldn't believe that after 24 years of a successful and happy marriage, he had let himself make the worst mistake possible. And it was even worse that he had to come to work with the very person who had convinced him to do it. He hadn't been able to look Jenny in the eye since that day. Now he couldn't look at anything at all. In fact, the pain was more tolerable when he closed his eyes… maybe if he could just rest for a few minutes, everything would be alright…

* * *

"They're gone!" Ernie jolted awake, hand motioning for his m1911 single action semi-automatic handgun. He turned to see his former lover and supervisor, Jenny. His mouth went dry. She didn't appear too blurry; apparently his hangover was starting to wear off. A good thing too, because the female officer's current screaming would have done no favours for his headache.

"...Jenny?"

"What the fuck, MacGregor?! Were you actually asleep?! What were you thinking? That cell door was wide open!" Blah blah blah, yadda yadda yadda. "MacGregor, I'm sorry, this is unacceptable on every level. It pains me to say this, especially considering what happened between us the other day…" she paused, thinking. Then she shook her head. "No, I have to do this. Constable MacGregor, you're fired. Your termination begins immediately. Gather your affairs, hand over your badge, and leave the premises at once."

"I'm sorry, Jenny, it's just that me and Karen-"

"Remember what I told you Ernie? _Fuck Karen. _Now get out."

Being non-unionized, there wasn't much of an argument that the recently dismissed constable could make, and he knew it. Sighing, he removed his badge and handed it over to Jenny, avoiding her gaze, then stumbled into his office to retrieve his belongings. As he exited the station for the last time, he realized that things could not possibly get any worse.

* * *

"Here." Brooke pushed Ash's backpack into his arms. "The evidence locker was wide open. I don't know what that cop was doing, but we got lucky. And I mean _**really**_ lucky." Ash slung his knapsack over his shoulders.

"Thanks... Brooke," said Ash with uncertainty.

"We need to find Misty. She's the first person the police will contact, so we need to get to her before they do. The more people, the better right?" Ash made a face.

"Do we really need Misty though? She's fucking awful."

"I'm what?" the two had just reached the campsite, and a now taken aback Misty stood before them. "Wait, Ash? What are… what are you doing h-"

"He's innocent Misty, and I have proof." As Brooke explained the rundown of events that had transpired over the past day, Misty's eyes widened.

"Wh-what, but how is that even possible? Other dimensions? That's ridiculous."

"Misty, we already live in a universe where the Unown dimension, Ghost World, Mirror World, Distortion World, Ultra Space, the Temporal World, Spatial World and Arceus's World exist. Gengar can literally see other dimensions with their third eye. Didn't you pay attention in Pokémon School? You're literally a fucking gym leader!" Misty turned a bright red.

"W-whatever Brooklyn! I haven't been to Pokémon School since I was like, nine!"

"And whose fault is that?" whispered Ash under his breath vindictively.

"Yours!" shouted Misty. "You two are the knuckleheads that convinced me to abandon my career as Gym Leader in the first place."

"A choice you made overnight!" exclaimed Ash.

"I was ten!"

"Yeah yeah, la di da," waved Ash dismissively. Brooke sighed.

"Whatever, point is, we need to get Ash into Dragonland to warn the people th-"

"Dragons."

"...to warn the dragons there! Maybe if we can rally them in time they'll be able to fight back. It can't hurt to try, what else can we possibly do?" Ash began dancing like an Aipom, mocking Misty's neanderthalic browline. Misty rolled her eyes to face Brooke.

"Well this sounds very important. Count me in." Brooke smiled, relieved that she had her friend's support. Ash continued to make Aipom screeches, pretending to fling shit in Misty's direction.

"Ooh ooh aah aah!" Brooke smacked Ash on the back of the head.

"How did you get to Dragonland in the first place anyway? Did you have one of those scales they had back at the lab?" Ash wiped his ass over the hem of his pants as if to get rid of the last of the feces.

"Yeah, it should be in my backpack."

"Great. I don't trust you with this task so I'm coming along with you for the ride. Misty, since the authorities will be looking for both of us we need you to stay behind and convince the residents here on Cinnabar of the truth! Ash Ketchum is an innocent man. Well, innocent-ish" Misty nodded nervously. Brooke turned back to her differently-abled friend.

"You ready?"

Ash sniffed his hand.


	21. Chapter Twenty-One

What had been for the most part a relatively clear summer day had turned into a torrential downpour. Ernie sat slouched against the dumpster behind the Pokémart, a juul in one hand, forty ounce in the other.

"F-fuuuuuck…" he mumbled, deep in his drunken stupor. He took another puff from his juul. _Everything. He had lost everything in the blink of an eye. _There was nothing left for the ex-cop now. He had fallen from upholding the oppressive capitalist structures on behalf of the bourgeoisie to the bottom of the barrel of society. He pulled his legs in, letting the rain soak his clothes. Not like feeling like a wet dog could make a man feel any worse, nor could the harsh glares of judgemental passersby as they bustled about, hurrying to their various destinations under the enclosure of their umbrellas. He deserved their scorn. This was all his fault. Everything was his fault.

Taking another long drag of his juul, Ernie noticed a somewhat familiar and unattractive young girl pass by, wondering where he had seen her before. Taking him by surprise, the young woman paused in her tracks to look behind her, doing a double take. The recognition was clearly mutual.

"Constable… Constable MacGregor?" she asked, uncertainly.

"Do… do I kno yuo?" he growled, shitfaced.

"Well, uh, not necessarily, but we spoke at the police station briefly. My name is Misty. I'm Ash Ketchum's friend. Constable, what are you doing out here?"

"Not... constable... anymore," he slurred. "I was fired... by that dumb bitch Jenny. This izz my lif now." He took a pull on his liquor.

"Oh, I'm, um... I'm sorry to hear that, Mr. MacGregor." She paused, somewhat awkwardly. "Well, I should really get going, I need to get to the police station-" Suddenly, the former constable grabbed her leg with a wet hand, tripping from his seat on the pavement.

"Wait, wait, wait. Hold on, wait wait wait wait wait, why are yuo going ther?" Misty looked down at the wasted man with fear and disgust.

"You uh, you probably wouldn't believe me."

"Try me. I'm so drubnk Iwill believ anythin rite now!" The man squeezed Misty's calf. Misty recoiled, afraid tugging away would aggravate the clearly volatile mess.

"Okay… uh… well… Ash Ketchum… he's… he's innocent! I know it sounds crazy but I came across proof that the assailant was this woman named Kinsley, a woman who worked under the guise as a receptionist at the Pokémon Lab here in Cinnabar…" Misty relayed Brooke's story to the drunken MacGregor, carefully piecing together her words. The vagrant's eyes widened in drunken surprise as the story unfolded.

"WUHT!"

"Yeah, I know," said Misty. "I've been tasked with clearing Ash's name, and warning the public to help prevent an invasion of Kanto!" The drunken man dropped his juul to grab Misty with his second hand, dirty fingernails digging into her skin."

"Tak me wit you!"

"Uh…"

"PLES!"

"UH…"

"MISTy PLESE!"

"Okay, okay! You can tag along," said Misty, practically on the verge of tears. At least they were headed toward the Police Station where she could hopefully shake this creep. MacGregor pushed himself up off the ground, stumbling.

"Perrffect."

* * *

Emmy exited the damp cave where grief counselling sessions were being held, brushing a tear from her eye. She could tell already that these meetings would be of no help to her. She didn't really expect anyone in Dragonland to know jack shit about the subject, especially considering her previous experiences with the health care system, but at this point she was willing to try anything to help numb the pain of losing Cassie. It certainly didn't help that dragons had an exceptionally long life span, either. Cassie, her best friend for the past 24 years, her rock, her shoulder to cry on, her big-boned lover. Emmy could almost feel the sensual pumping motions of heated lesbian sex shared with her fat pink companion. _I'll never be able to love like that again,_ she thought. Who would she fuck? Wheezie? What genitals did she and her conjoined twin even share? Dr. Booboogone? That decrepit old fuck? And god damn Emmy if she ever tried fucking one of Cassie's now adult siblings. She may not have been Christian like Ord, but even that was too far for someone of her caliber. Emmy sniffed, holding a hand to her forehead to quell her growing migraine.

"Homie!" Emmy looked up. She was met with a large bald-headed Colombian man sporting a gray hoodie and dark athletic shorts pulling a rickshaw behind him.  
"José!"

"Your brother told me you had gone to grief counselling dawg, so I decided it was the prime time to try out my new whip! Ain't no Golf GTI's in Dragonland, homie!" Emmy let out a laugh. José always knew how to cheer her up. Her giggle turned into a relaxed smile. Without saying another word, Emmy climbed onto the seat of the two-wheeled cart. José's bald head turned to face her.

"Where to, little lady?"

"The Knuckerhole," replied Emmy. José laughed, knowing there were only so many residencies he could even travel to to begin with, given Dragonland's sparseness.

"Sure thing my little chica. Hey, Emmy?"

"Yeah?"

"I should probably give you a head's up given we're friends and all, but my debit machine is broken! Cash only!"

"Oh okay. I _think_ I have a few dollars left over from that dogfighting scheme," she said idly, patting down her pockets. José laughed haughty, pulling off, hurtling like no man had ever done before. The jaunty pace allowed for a cool breeze for the comfortably seated Emmy, who closed her eyes for just a moment, letting her thoughts drift away as the wind rushed past her face. Maybe she'd just tell José to never stop running, to just continue powering through this wind so she could leave all the cares of the world behind. Before she could even make that suggestion however, there was a bright flash, her world turning upside down.

"Jesus fucking Christ!" she heard a familiar voice cry as the little rickshaw collided head-on with something solid, spilling it's lone occupant painfully to the ground. José landed directly on top of Emmy, yelling something in Spanish. Her vision blurry, the woman rubbed her head. That hurt like a bitch.

"What the hell just happened?" she heard another voice ask, this one not so familiar. It was soft and poised in a rather deliberate manner, perfectly offsetting the shrill, grating voice of its partner.

"This dumbass scale dropped us off right in front of these bozos. Hey asshole, watch where you're- oh, Emmy, it's you. Watch where you're going next time you dumb bitch."

"Ash?" she asked groggily, wondering if she had hit her head harder than she had previously thought.

"Nope, it's Cassie, back from the dead," Ash replied in poor taste. He brushed the dirt off his hat and put it back on his head.

"Who's with you?" asked Emmy, picking herself up from the ground and squinting.

"Oh, this is my friend Bro- Brooke," stammered Ash, saving the skin of his ass at the last conceivable second. One must always remember to use the preferred name and pronouns of another, and if Ash had known any better he would have asserted this at the forefront of his conscience before putting himself into this situation. Luckily for the others, Ash didn't engage in the typical self-loathing apologetic ritual prescribed to white cishet liberal men, but that might have been due to his complete lack of familiarity with a personal, comprehensive moral system that he could subscribe to.

"Here," a hand extended itself to Emmy. "My name's Brooke." Emmy blindly grabbed the woman's hand, being helped up from the ground below her.

"Thank you Brooke, it's a pleasure to make your acquaintance, beyond like, the whole crash thing but..."

"No no, don't worry," Brooke affirmed. "There was no way you two could have known..." Almost by reflex, Brooke laid a kiss on Emmy's hand. Emmy's eyes widened, taken aback. Normally she wouldn't have accepted such a gesture with grace, however Brooke's eloquence in the affair was flattering. Emmy smiled politely, returning her hand to her chest.

"FUCK HOMIE! MY RICKSHAW!" a heavily accented voice cried. José stared at the distorted wheels, helpless. "This shit is expensive as fuck homie! It will cost me an arm and a leg to get this replaced! It is totaled! My engine is blown!" Ash put a hand on José's shoulder, hoping to one up his friend.

"Don't worry Juan, we'll get your trashbike up and running again in no time!" José turned to the delinquent gruffly.

"That's not my name, bro." Brooke cleared her throat, trying to redirect the conversation.

"We have something important to tell you guys. Really important."

* * *

"Well shit," said José, baffled. "This whole place is going under? Time to move back to Columbia!"

Brooke sighed. "Well that's the thing, if Kinsley's organization manages to successfully conquest Dragonland, there's no stopping further imperialist expansion! Your world could be in danger, as well as ours!" José began uttering South American slurs under his breath. Emmy interjected.

"So how do we even go about this?" she asked, thinking.

"Do you guys not have a press or something we can go to?" asked Brooke. "Somewhere that we can notify the entire population of Dragonland?"

"No," replied Emmy flatly.

"This place is a shithole," clarified Ash.

"Better than Columbia," interjected José. The group nodded in agreement.

"So what do we do?" asked Emmy.

"Well, Ash is supposed to go meet with Kinsley one-on-one very soon," said Brooke. "We're assuming she'll have backup though, so it would help to have some of our own. We're trying to get as many people as possible to not only foil her plans, but destroy that amplifier before it can be properly harnessed."

"Count us in," affirmed Emmy. She couldn't go back to her world anymore, and Dragonland was all she had left, shithole or not. If there was any way she could save it, she would jump at the chance.

"Woah, speak for yourself, homie," said José. "This whole thing sounds pretty dicey, and I kinda wanted to live long enough to at least build another one of these rickshaws, you know what I mean? Fuck that."

"José, if Kinsley's army invades Dragonland, you'll never get that chance anyway. Please help us." Emmy placed a comforting hand on his shoulder. "You got this, homie," she added, winking. José let out a sigh of defeat.

"Nice, well that's two people!" exclaimed Ash excitedly. He turned to his friends. "Do you think you guys would be able to round up the others? We don't know exactly how many people we'll need, but the more the merrier, right? Plus, you guys will get to see Kanto, so that'll be pretty cool."

"That shouldn't be an issue, I'm sure everyone will be willing to help," said Emmy. "I guess we'll have to hurry though, especially since José's weird cart thing broke."

"Alright," said Ash, "well let's get to it."

* * *

Ernie held the front door of the cop shop open for his new friend.

"Aftur you…" he suggested, holding an open hand to the entrance, welcoming Misty in.

"Uh, thanks, Mr. MacGregor," Misty replied. She quickly shuffled into the main lobby, the ex-cop in tow. They were quickly met with an angry Jenny.

"Hey you! You're Ketchum's friend! We need you to come in for questioning immediately." she turned to her former co-worker in surprise. "And you, MacGregor! What the hell did I say?! There better be a good reason for your return!" She poised her hand over her belt, cautious.

"No no no. nonononononono. Do not wory. We hav verry good reason for been here." He took a deep breath. "SobasicallysomecrazyladynamedKinsleykilledprofessorsButternutandFigTreetotakeovertheirlabanduseittoamplifythepowersofamagicdragonscale…" Misty put a hand over the socialist's mouth.

"Woah there, bud. Let me do the talking." The redhead sighed. "Look, Officer Jenny, we know who killed the professors. We think she's planning some sort of invasion on Cinnabar, and we need your help."

Jenny rolled her eyes dismissively. "And just _why _should I believe the words of a disgraced ex-cop and some ugly ginger whore?"

"Because…" began Ernie dramatically. He had given some thought to what he was going to say, as much thought as he could in his current condition at least. Maybe if he was sober the idea never would have crossed his mind, but he had to do something. "Because if yuo halp us i… i… ill giv up on Karan. Jeny, i lov u, i want to mak as much lov 2 u as posisble. Ples, i dont want my job bak, just giv us a chnace here!"

Jenny shook her head, sighing.

"I don't even know how to respond to that." she paused. "I guess as Chief of Police it _is_ my duty to take all claims and inquiries seriously... okay... let's sit down and talk this over."


	22. Chapter Twenty-Two

It was time. The preparations had been made, and Ash was back in Kanto, about to meet face to face with Agent Kinsley. He walked by himself to the Pokémon lab, where she would be waiting for him. In another context he may have been aroused by this thought, but right now all he felt was dread. For the first time, he would be facing a potentially dangerous situation without Pikachu by his side, and the strange feeling that he thought may have been guilt about the Pokémon's death was not helping him concentrate. He knew for a fact that this was guaranteed to be a trap. But he went nonetheless, determined to do all he could to save Kanto as well as who knew how many other worlds. Before he knew it, he stood outside the door to the lab. Taking a deep breath, he entered.

"Well well well, look who actually showed up. It's Ash fucking Ketchum," said a cold, sinister and sensual voice from the shadows of the darkened lab. Ash knew the voice, had even jerked off to it, but the tone was entirely unfamiliar. The figure to whom the voice belonged stepped out to reveal herself.

Kinsley was dressed casually, in faded jeans, sneakers, and the form-fitting Naruto hoodie he had dreamed of. Maybe this meeting wouldn't be so bad after all. Ash jumped, feeling both of his arms being grabbed from either side. He looked around to see two large men wearing dark polos embroidered with yellow stripes holding him. For some reason, on the breast of each top was the word 'SHIT' embroidered in capital letters. So much for this meeting being a private meeting.

"I thought you said we'd meet alone," complained Ash. His voiced bounced off the walls of the open reception area. Kinsley grinned slyly.

"Can't ever be too safe, Ketchum. Don't worry, this transaction should go smoothly enough."

"What do you even want from me?" Kinsley reached behind her quietly, pulling out an m1911 single action semi-automatic handgun. She pointed the pistol at Ash, mere feet from his forehead.

"Your life," whispered Kinsley coldly. Her trigger finger twitched, ready to fire. "...any last words?"

"Why?" asked Ash. "Why do you want to kill me? What did I ever do to you?" Ash's mind jumped to all the pervy shit he did in her presence. Kinsley slightly lowered her pistol, still directed at Ash

"I represent a secret organization known as the Society for Harnessing Interdimensional Travel. We came here to Kanto in pursuit of a certain machine being developed by your professor friends. Along the way one of our agents was careless enough to lose one of our precious artifacts…" she looked back scornfully at one of the grunts next to Ash. "...one that you just _happened_ to find out in the ocean. I knew from the moment I found out that you discovered it that you would have to die, and I 'conveniently' left you that message in a bottle, knowing you would read it and be transported to Dragonland. I assumed you'd be mauled by those feral beasts instantaneously, but I suppose you made your way out alive." Ash clenched his fists.

"They're not feral beasts! Sure they may be stupid, but they're not animals!" Ash spit on the ground. "You should meet them for yourself. Dragonite, I choose you!" Much like in a Clint Eastwood movie, Ash whipped out his Pokéball in the blink of an eye, releasing his mighty Dragon-type before his foes. He quickly dove behind cover as the Pokémon roared.

"DRAGON, DRAGONITE!" Kinsley fell over and scrambled back, letting out a few stray shots.

"KILL IT! KILL IT!" she screamed at her officers. The two men pulled machine guns out from behind them and took fire. Dodging them, Dragonite flew into the air toward the high ceiling.

"CALL BACKUP!" commanded Kinsley, getting back to her feet. The men's shots trailed Dragonite as it flew through the room.

In seconds, a faint hum of electricity came from upstairs, a blinding light shining from the stairway itself. Ash shielded his eyes. What sounded like a crowd of people came out of nowhere from above them, and before Ash knew it a couple dozen SHITsoldiers armed with weapons stormed the room. It looked like a bridge had been opened to whatever dimension these assholes were from.

"Fuck," whispered Ash under his breath. "Looks like we're gonna need some backup of our own." He dumped the contents of his knapsack, over a dozen Pokéballs spilling to the floor. "Here goes nothing." The young trainer turned his hat backwards and rolled up his sleeves, preparing for the biggest battle of his life. He picked up two of the balls and threw them one after the other. "Brooke! Misty! I choose you!"

In a flash of light, Ash's friends emerged from the Pokéballs along with Pokémon of their own. Brooke's Onyx appeared alongside a Starmie belonging to Misty.

"Misty, you dumbass, Starmie can't battle on land," growled Brooke under her breath. Kinsley smirked.

"Looks like you didn't keep your end of the one-on-one deal either."

"Can't ever be too safe," winked Ash, repeating the fake receptionist's earlier statement. "And there's more where that came from. Max, Emmy, go!" The trainer let out another two Pokéballs, revealing the siblings in a flash of red light.

Max pulled a few rounds into a grunt with the gun he had used to kill Quetzal.

"Emmy, catch!" Ash tossed Emmy his own sidepiece, hoping he'd be sitting back for most of this battle. Emmy caught it and took cover of her own behind a row of chairs. She waved her brother back as some grunts returned fire.

Ash had no idea where the reception had went, but he had plenty of Pokéballs left.

"Ord, you religious fuck! Zak! Wheezie!" Ash released the third set of Pokéballs. The Dragons stormed the guards taking fire at their friends, plowing them into the wall behind the main desk. The gyprock crumbled at the collision, a blast of brawlers being thrown onto the street, taking the fight outside. Dragonite made a swoop at a few more SHITsoldiers, forcing them in turn to run out the now gaping hole.

As Misty struggled to control her useless Starmie, she spotted Kinsley running outside. "Ash! Over there!" she cried, warning her friend. Ash got the message and chased after the sexy young agent, emerging into Cinnabar's cool evening air.

"Scallywag! Booboogone! C'mon out!"

The fight continued, more and more people emerging from their Pokémon capsules. Enriqué. José. Lorca. Kiki. Finn. Both Nigels: first the lawyer and then the Beaverdragon along with his workers. The battle began to take full swing.

* * *

"We're going outside," Brooke said, turning to Misty. "There's too much of a risk that Onyx might hurt some of our own in such a small space."

"Okay. Just stay safe," begged Misty. Her friend with her Onyx ran out into the street to face the SHITsoldiers who had made it out there. Misty turned to her Starmie.

"Starmie. Please. Use Swift or something?!" The starfish Pokémon just sat there, not budging. "Fuck!" A soldier charged at her with the butt of his gun. Misty dodged, just barely so. The soldier lost his footing, tumbling to the ground.

"Oh god!" The young redhead picked up her starfish Pokémon, holding it above her small boyish frame.

"Starmie, use pound!" she brought the useless Pokémon down onto the officers head with an unrelenting force, resulting in a deafening crack, as though someone had smashed a watermelon with a sledgehammer. Blood splattered over her suspenders. She dropped her Starmie in shock, the realities of war getting to her. A couple SHITsoldiers grabbed her from behind and pushed her to the ground, batons pummeling her in retaliation.

* * *

Emmy grabbed her brother's arm. They had secured their cover, and were emptying mag after mag.

"Hand me another," she told him. Max handed his sister a clip.

"These don't come cheap you know," he reminded her. Emmy poised Ash's gun to her side, her back to cover.

"Just follow my lead and we'll be fine." They were interrupted with a woman's bloodcurdling scream.

"What the fuck was that?! Max asked his sister. Emmy gritted her teeth.

"I'll take a peek. Sit tight." Emmy crouched, treading the line of seats in the waiting room. Peeking around the end of the row, her eyes widened.

"They got Ash's friend!" she whispered. Max crawled up to her under cover, taking a look for himself. A few of Kinsley's men had taken Ash's traveling companion, Misty, and were proceeding to beat the everloving shit out of her. A pool of blood could be seen on the floor nearby.

"Oh, darn. I'd sure hate to be her!" exclaimed Max, in a defeatist way. Emmy punched her brother on the shoulder.

"Max! We have to help her!"

"Are you sure about that?"

"Yes!" Her brother finally seceded and agreed to take a stand.

"Okay sis, on the count of three. One, two, THREE!" The siblings jumped out of the spot where they were crouched, guns blazing. The soldiers fell before they even realized what had hit them (bullets). "Nice!" exclaimed Max. :)

"Great job Max, we saved- oh," she stopped as she noticed that Misty was lying face first in a puddle of her own blood. "Oh shit, we did not save her. That girl is dead. Real dead."

"Oh," said Max. "That's unfortunate." :(

"Should we like, say something or…?"

"Emmy, we're at war here, these things happen. We gotta go." Max grabbed his sister by the wrist and pulled her away from a sudden hailfire of bullets.

* * *

Ash looked at the last set of Pokéballs.

"Oh, I almost forgot these ones." he tossed a couple. "MacGregors, I choose you!"

"Not for long," muttered Karen under her breath as she took form. The idea of holding the MacGregor family name for much longer seemed rather ill-conceived to her. Ernie looked over at her where he too had taken form from the bright red light.

"Karen…" his wife held a hand to the ex-cop's face.

"Ernie, no. We can't continue to do this. Not in front of the kids." she pointed to their two children, cowering in fear as a barrage of gunfire sounded through the town.

"Wait, you brought the kids to the battle?!" exclaimed Ernie.

"I couldn't find a babysitter," Karen shrugged.

"Karen, look, I know what I did was wrong. It was horrible. Jenny took advantage of me in a moment of weakness, but I don't blame her. I understand that this was all my fault. But Karen, you need to know that I will always love you no matter what, and nobody can change that. Not the Jennys, not the Nurse Joys-"

"What?" said Karen.

"Nothing. Karen, please take me back and I promise I will love and cherish you forever, I will be the man you want me to be. I can change. I don't know what I'd do without you. And if nothing else, think of the kids!"

Karen began to unfold her arms, brow unfurrowed. "Ernie, I-"

"Jenny, I choose you!" came Ash's cry, followed by a Pokéball landing directly between the former constable and his wife, and then Officer Jenny was there, smiling seductively at Ernie.

"Hey big boy. I can't _wait _until this battle's over so I play with your weedle like you promised." Both Karen and Ernie flushed a bright red, but for radically different reasons.

* * *

Ord ripped the throat of an opposing SHITsoldier out, spitting his trachea to the ground like spaghetti.

"Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice!" The insides of his enemies poured from his now frothing mouth. Zak and Wheezie circled above him in the air, dropping SHITsoldiers to their untimely deaths on the cobblestone street below. They had been mauling swarms of SHITsoldiers for what seemed like hours, and the hoards only kept coming.

"We can only keep this up for so long!" yelled Enriqué, burst firing his SMG-11 sporadically into the encroaching crowd. "Mierda!" he picked another clip from his belt and jammed it into the now emptied gun. "This ain't anything like the slums in Columbia!" he looked over to a bloodthirsty Ord. "We can't last much longer. I'm running low!" he took cover behind a hotdog cart as the enemy laid out suppressing fire. Ord lashed his tail out, tripping several adversaries.

"Luke 12:15! Watch out! Be on your guard against all kinds of greed; life does not consist in an abundance of possessions!"

"What does that even mean?" shouted Enriqué.

"No idea, but I'm getting out of here!" the dragon retorted as he took off into the air.

"Wait, take me with you!" yelled the Columbian, but Ord and the twins were long gone, leaving Enriqué alone to be swarmed by soldiers coming in at all sides. This was the end. He was bitterly prepared to meet Ord's God, only to be sent to a sea of flames, but was interrupted by the roar of a 2.0L I4 85kW engine. José appeared, ramming down anyone in his path from behind the wheel of a Golf GTI.

"Hop in, homie! I got ammo!"

"Holy fuck, am I ever glad to see you," Enriqué exclaimed, scrambling into the cab. He slammed the door shut, José stepping on the gas. The wheels of the GTI squealed, launching them down the narrow urban strip.

* * *

All his years in law enforcement would never have trained Ernie for this. His hands shook, firing shot after shot of his department-issued firearm alongside his former partners. One by one, Kinsley's men dropped like flies. Jenny reloaded.

"For an interdimensional organization, these guys sure have poor aim-" before she could finish her sentence, a shot rang clear, blood splattering on the wall behind them, like a Smeargle priming a mural with a red base.

"KAREN!" Ernie collapsed to his knees, his dying wife held in his arms. "Karen! NO!" Karen raised her hand shakily, bloody fingertips stroking Ernie's cheek as she faded from consciousness. "Stay with me Karen, please! For the kids! Everything is gonna be alright, I promise!"

"E-Ernie…" she croaked.

"Yes?"

"I'll never… I'll never… f...f..." her voice trailed off.

"You'll never what?" Ernie begged, heeding his wife's dying words.

"I'll never forgive you for what you did, you bastard!" With that, her hand fell from the devastated man's face, and Karen was no more.


	23. Chapter Twenty-Three

The battle had continued relentlessly for many hours while showing no signs of slowing, and Ash looked upon the devastation taking place on all sides. He had run out of Pokéballs long ago, and Emmy was still off fucking around somewhere with his gun, leaving him feeling more than a little useless. It was okay for a while; he had been commanding Dragonite for a bit as the two of them pursued Agent Kinsley through the battlefield that was the Island of Cinnabar, but he had let the Pokémon fly off as he stopped to eat a granola bar and had now lost track of it. Unfortunately, this meant he had lost track of Kinsley as well. Ash sighed, wishing now more than ever that Pikachu were here. Pikachu was his partner, his best friend. They had been a team, and if they were still together right now, he knew that Kinsley and the agents of SHIT would never stand a chance. But instead, he was alone, stepping through the bodies of friends and foes alike. SHITsoldiers lay everywhere at his feet, and he nearly tripped over the charred corpse of Nigel Gillan. God. He felt like puking, but he was too depressed for that. In a moment of pure self-defeat, he sank to his knees amidst the dead and buried his face in his arms.

"Hey. Hey asshole." The voice came loudly from his left. His head shot around in response, but nobody was there. At least, not close enough for the voice to be that clear. But then it came again.

"A little lower, dumbfuck." Ash looked at the ground. Nothing. But something about that voice was awfully familiar.

"No, not that low. On your shoulder, dipshit." The young trainer craned his neck slowly, now fearful of what he might see. Because he _did_ know that voice. But it couldn't possibly be… there was no way…

"Bingo." Ash was looking directly into his own face, tiny and smirking up at him. Horrified, he realized that the little head was attached to a body very unlike his own. In fact, it almost resembled the legendary Pokémon…

"Arceus?" asked Ash incredulously.

"Of course not, bitch brains, I'm your conscience. You know, that thing you've been ignoring since like, forever."

"Oh. Fuck that then." Ash moved to flick his little Arceus clone from his shoulder, but the abomination held firm.

"Nice try, douchebag. Why aren't you fighting in the battle?"

"I don't want to talk to you," Ash muttered, avoiding the question.

"You don't have a choice you little bastard. I'm you. I'm in your head. There's no getting rid of me."

"I can't fight in the battle. Emmy has my gun."

"That's called an excuse, you failed abortion. Tell me the real reason."

"He doesn't have to if he doesn't want to," came another voice, still an imitation of Ash's, but this time coming from his right. Looking at his other shoulder, the trainer saw a little Giratina, also wearing his face. "Leave the kid alone,"

"He's listened to you enough already, cumstain," said Ash's conscience.

"Woah man, too far. Aren't you supposed to be the psychological manifestation of God or something?"

"That's right, asswipe, I'm a motherfucking God and if you don't shut the fuck up right now ima smite yo ass."

"Stop, both of you!" shouted Ash. "I don't want to fight in this battle because I'm an awful human being who hurts everyone who gets close to me, and I feel like if I join this battle I'll just make everything worse. It's all my fault, everything that's happened is because of me, Ash Ketchum, the worst trainer in all of Kanto. I couldn't save Cassie, I couldn't save P- Pikachu. I, I…" the trainer broke down in tears.

"You're right," said his ego. "This is probably for the best."

"Of course he's right, you wet fart, but that doesn't mean he shouldn't be fighting. You've done so much wrong, don't you want to make up for it, Ash? Don't you owe it to yourself? Don't you owe it to Pikachu?"

"That's right, Ash," came the ghostly, godlike voice of actor Ryan Reynolds. Ash looked up to see the ethereal form of his deceased Pikachu suspended in the air in above him. He had officially lost it. "You kneeled at my grave and told me you would avenge me. You said that you'd find whoever was responsible for this and make them pay. Well, the only other person besides you that shares any credit for that is Agent Kinsley, and you're doing nothing to stop her. You're breaking your final promise to me, Ash. You're breaking my heart." Ash held an arm up to his face and wiped at his tears, bawling.

"You're right. You're right! Are you happy now?" he picked himself up off the ground, blood rushing back to his head, distorting his vision and making the apparitions vanish. The trainer clenched a fist. "For all the wrongs I have wronged… I must redeem myself. Everyone is depending on me…" his grasp relaxed. "My name is Ketchum. Ash Ketchum. And I cannot die in vain." The trainer took off in a sprint, faster than he had ever done before. Rounding a corner, he found a small group of Kinsley's men with their backs to him, laying out suppressing fire. Ash cried, charging the one closest to him. He tackled the soldier to the ground, grabbing his submachinegun before anyone could react. Ash held the gun out to the side and fired aimlessly into the bodies of the soldier's accomplices who stood mere feet away from them. The bullets tore through their polos like shrapnel, chunks of flesh flying everywhere. The clip ran dry. Ash rammed the butt of the gun into the back of the first guard's head, knocking him cold.

"_This is for Pikachu_," he whispered to himself. "_This is for all my friends._" He scattered back to the ground below, pulling a second SMG out from the pile of bodies. Dashing back to the Lab, Ash hurdled through the new entrance, looking to destroy the machine upstairs. A voice ripped him out of his tunnel vision.

"Ash!" It was Emmy. Ash turned to his friend.

"Emmy. I just want to let you know that I'm sorr-" Emmy held a hand to Ash's face.

"-as touching as that is, Ketchum, I need your help. I saw that Kinsley woman come in from the back and run up those stairs." She pointed the gun Ash had given her in the direction of the stairwell. "I can't pursue her though. Max has been shot…" she motioned back to her brother, who was holding his arm, writhing in agony. "I've stopped the bleeding, he should be fine… but we're running low." Ash unstrapped the firearm from his back.

"Here, take this," he handed Emmy the gun, exchanging it for his pistol. "How many rounds are left in this?" he asked gruffly.

"Not many," replied Emmy, not looking away from her brother.

"Right…" he turned, knowing time was of the essence.

"And Ash?" Ash turned back to the young woman.

"Yeah?"

"Be careful."

* * *

Ash burst through the doors of room 210. The laboratory.

"Kinsley you fuckstain, I'm shutting this little operation down!" shouted Ash in a commanding tone. The woman whipped around, controller in hand. Her eyes narrowed.

"Ketchum." she muttered. "Figures you'd find me here." she raised her hand over her holster, ready to quickdraw on Ash. Ash place a hand on his own gun.

"Don't get cocky with me Kinsley. I'm on a fucking warpath and you're target number one." he spit on the ground, not taking an eye off of her. His adversary growled. Her thumb twitched over the controller.

"One press of this button and I can open up a spatial warp large enough to rip your little region apart." she raised the controller in the air as if it were a bomb. Ash tried to hide his surprise at her statement. He considered his options. Shoot her now, and even if he hit her she may still have time to hit the button. It was either that or stall, so the trainer went with the second option.

"Alright Kinsley, let's settle this the old fashioned way. I challenge you to a Pokémon battle!"

Kinsley laughed. "Oh Ketchum, that's so adorable! You think that everyone can be challenged fairly, that all conflicts can be solved using your little pets." She placed the controller on top of the machine and stepped forward to loom over Ash dramatically. "But let me tell you something, kid. This is the real world, and I don't play by the fucking rules."

Ash took a moment to savour the fact that her tits were now inches from his face. "I mean, this always works with Team Rocket…"

"Who?"

"They're this criminal organization that keeps trying to capture Pikachu. But now because of you, they'll never get that chance. Pikachu's dead. Think about that as you're starting up your stupid machine."

"I won't, because I have no idea what the fuck a Pikachu even is. Now, shut the hell up. I've had enough of you, you little perv. It's time." She raised her hand, ready to push the button, but then remembered she had put the controller down for dramatic effect. Grumbling, she turned around to get it, but before she could, the click of an m1911 single-action semi-automatic handgun filled her ears.

"It _is_ time. Time for me to put an end to this little incident." Ash drew all the courage he could muster, and with barely a hesitation, pulled the trigger.

Nothing happened.

"Well… shit," said Ash

"You foolish, foolish boy." In turn, Kinsley pulled out her own firearm, pressing the cold barrel against Ash's forehead. Thoughts began racing through the trainer's head, including whether or not he was into gunplay. "This will mark the dawn of a new era. An era of prosperity for SHIT-" Ash couldn't tell whether or not she whether she was referring to the Society for Harnessing Interdimensional Travel or exclaiming the rather literal expletive as before she could fully finish her sentence the floor below her feet gave way, shooting upward in an explosion of debris. Ash's Dragonite burst onto the second floor, grabbing the agent in his mouth. Kinsley shrieked as the fat orange dragon mutilated her in a ravenous effort to reinstate justice upon the Pokémon world. Ash scrambled back from the hole in the floor, looking up in shock.

"Dragonite, I didn't know you knew how to use Crunch!" The dragon-type looked over at Ash quizzically as he swallowed Kinsley's bloodied corpse.

"Arceus Almighty…" the trainer scrambled to the machine's control panel and slid off the lid, ripping wires out as quickly as he could. Almost immediately, the device's elaborate lightshow shut down, reverting the lab to its cold dark state. Ash continued to kick at the machine in anger.

"Fuck. You. You. Stupid. Piece. Of. Fucking. Shit-"

"Ash!" The trainer turned to find Brooke standing in the doorway. She ran over and placed a hand upon his shoulder. "Ash, it's okay, it's done, you don't have to keep kicking that thing. The SHITsoldiers are all gone."

"What do you mean?"

"I was fighting my way through a group of them on my way upstairs to you and they suddenly disappeared. I think when you destroyed the machine they must have been transported back to whatever dimension they came from. Ash, we won. you did it."

Ash fell to his knees, breathing heavily. "It- it wasn't just me. It was Dragonite too." He pointed to the Pokémon to show Brooke the bloody carnage smeared across its face.

"So it was." Brooke tried not to puke. She reached under Ash's shoulder, lifting him to his feet. "C'mon buddy let's get you out of here." As the two slowly approached the door to the stairway, Ash suddenly brushed his friend's hand away.

"Is being transgender contagious?"

* * *

Ernie MacGregor adjusted his tie. It had been a week since the incident, but the horrific images of the battle were still fresh in his mind. Today, he and the other heroes of what was now being called the Battle of Cinnabar would be awarded special badges by local gym leader Blaine for special services to the Kanto region on behalf of the Indigo League. But Ernie didn't feel like a hero. That's not how Karen had seen him, and to him, that was all that mattered.

The Award ceremony was being held on the beach. It was a beautiful day. The recipients of the badge stood in a row before the monument dedicated to the deceased professors as Leader Blaine moved from person to person, pinning the medal on their shirts. Some were crying; the memories of those who had given their lives were affecting them as much as they were himself. The death of that Misty girl had hit slightly hard. Slightly. But for most of them, their stories were over. But as he avoided Jenny's gaze when Blaine came to award him his badge, he felt that his story was just beginning. And he was ready to fight like hell until he ended it. No, this wasn't over.

Not yet.


	24. Chapter Twenty-Four

**What Happened After "Ash Ketchum and the Incident"?**

**José Santiago Matías Sebastián Mateo Nicolás Alejandro Samuel Diego González **returned to Dragonland to open up his own taxi firm, paired with a fresh new fleet of Golf GTI's imported using tech recovered from the ruins of the Pokémon lab. He held a monopoly on the private transportation industry thanks to the underwhelming economy, infrastructure and regulation in Dragonland. He quickly rose to become the most notorious taxi oligarch throughout the kingdom, and dabbled lightly in the acquisition and sale of black market organs.

**Max **recovered from the injuries he sustained during the Battle of Cinnabar and decided to go forward with his plan of permanently moving to Dragonland, unaware that his sister had other intentions. He continues to shoot the shit with the boys on weekends, and has developed an interest in mixology.

**Enriqué **left Cinnabar and returned to Dragonland as well, as there was nothing left for him back in Columbia. He rediscovered himself, starting a new life surrounded by the people he trusted. He no longer harbours any harsh feelings toward Emmy after their shared experience in the Kanto region. His interest in purchasing sex work has declined since.

**Enriqué's Hooker **moved into Enriqué's old pad. She now spends her time smoking cigarettes and reminiscing about days past.

**Ord** finally realized his dream of being ordained as a priest in the Church of Dragonland, and continues to spread the good word of Christ to his reptilian brethren.

**Zak and Wheezie** got married the following spring. They are now the proud parents of three beautiful children. They lived a full and happy life, but unfortunately had to discard their comforter as Emmy never kept her promise to clean the cum out of it.

**Dr. Booboogone** had her medical license revoked following an investigation spearheaded by the general surgeon in response to a series of complaints and lawsuits alike. She is no longer allowed to practice in Dragonland.

**Captain Scallywag** gave up his involvement in the slave trade sold off his ship in exchange for sunnier pastures. He has made a humble home out of the School in the Sky and lives in leisure, pampered by Ash's surrendered Pokémon.

**Nigel and the Beaverdragons **had a falling out pending the unionization of his workers. After a scandal involving the murder of several key union members, Nigel has disappeared from the public eye.

**Kiki and Finn **started a charity organization for abuse victims in the name of their late sister Cassie.

**Lorca** remains crippled.

**The hissyfish, silliguanas and splishsplash birds **continued to frolic and play in Dragoon Lagoon with reckless abandon.

**Rover **developed a tumour after a few years of successful dogfighting and was subsequently put down.

**The man at the dog fighting arena** cut his losses after losing several thousand dollars over the span of a few weeks. He began to volunteer at the local ASPCA in search of potential new recruits in the hopes of making a quick buck.

**The pilot** that flew Max, Emmy and Ash to Columbia continues to fly commercial airlines under a different company name.

**Max and Emmy's parents **cancelled their suicide pact when they realized they would be able to retire without the expenditures associated with their NEET children. They moved into a little cottage in the Florida Keys where they plan to spend the rest of their days.

Soon after the events on Cinnabar unfolded, **Emmy **quickly fell madly in love with Brooke. She remains in Kanto with her new lover. They are often visted by her brother Max, who wholeheartedly supports their lesbian relationship out of a secret disdain for his sister's company.

**Brooke **spends her days making sweet sweet jelly donuts and her nights making sweet sweet love to Emmy. She is in the process of receiving HRT through a decommissioned Dr. Booboogone.

**Officer Jenny **maintains her role as the Police Chief of Cinnabar. She has become an avid career person and has sought to undermine Team Rocket's presence on the Island.

**The surviving SHITsoldiers **were transported back to their own dimension after the destruction of the transdimensional amplifier. Their current situation is unknown...

After experiencing his first taste of human flesh whilst devouring Agent Kinsley, **Dragonite **developed an insatiable craving for the rich and succulent flavour. With Pikachu out of the way he hopes to take the deceased Pokémon's place as Ash's best friend, but if the young trainer doesn't cooperate there will always be a place for him in Dragonite's stomach...

**Ernie's Children **remained in their father's care, whom they have forgiven for cheating on her late mother. They are currently enrolled at a boarding school in Lavender Town. They occasionally suffer from mysterious headaches.

**Ernie MacGregor, **determined to get his life back on track after his humiliations on Cinnabar, pursued a post-secondary education in gender studies with a minor in Sociology at the Ryme City community college. He discovered an unexpected passion for the subject, but is occasionally distracted by his old police officer habits, and finds it difficult to ignore what could be an impending turf war within the city's criminal underground...

**Ash Ketchum** is still in hot pursuit for the title of Pokémon Champion. He has traveled through a variety of regions, amassed a collection of gym badges and has met a plethora of friends along the way.

**The End**


End file.
